Among Her Least Favorite People
by NajwaBarlaam
Summary: "Well that went –" she tried calling over her shoulder and heading toward her room. Only he caught her hand, pulled her around, pushed her back against the wall, and cut her off with a kiss. He expected a protest, but instead felt her respond immediately.
1. 1  Unhealthy

She had no idea how it happened. One minute they were fighting, and then next they were kissing. And not too many minutes after that, they were shagging. On the common room floor. It was the damned bloody heads common room that did it. She couldn't even stand James Potter. Ugh. He was, absolutely, her least favorite person in the school.

Well, that was an outright lie. He was _among_ her least favorite people in the school. When you're a muggleborn with the misfortune to have been sorted into Slytherin, there were a lot of people who hated you. And, consequently, a lot of people you hated back. Potter was definitely on this list. How anyone could have chosen him to be head boy way beyond her.

Of course, she was just as mad of a choice. It hadn't made sense when she was chosen prefect, and it made even less sense when she was chosen head girl. Sure, she was top of her class, but that was it. The rest of the time she just tried to stay out of everyone's way. She thought it was probably some ridiculous show of support on Dumbledore's part. She shook her head. She may have adored the old man, but he had to be completely off his rocker to think it would _help_ her to be given authority over anyone.

She glanced over at Potter. He was laying on the floor, looking supremely pleased with himself. Fantastic. It was fairly safe to say she was going to be the talk in his dorm room tonight. Somehow being a "dirty muggleborn" and a "filthy mudblood" hadn't stopped the boys thinking she was shaggable.

Deciding it was best done sooner rather than later, she rose to her feet, pulling on her trousers. She couldn't see her knickers anywhere.

"That's a shame, that is," he said.

"What?" she snapped.

"Covering up that lovely body of yours." He shook his head sadly as she shrugged into a jumper.

"Tragic, I know," she responded sarcastically. Grabbing up her bra in one hand, she took one last desperate look around for her knickers. Deciding Potter had probably torn them to shreds, she decided to give them up for a lost cause. Her reputation – had she ever really had one that wasn't awful – would have been in the bin anyway. She'd known that the moment she'd seen that damn self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Listen, Evans," he said, standing up. He didn't even bother with his clothes. "Any time you want to come back for seconds . . ."

She gave him her best disgusted look. The one she had perfected on her sister's boyfriend. "Have you _ever_ had a girl take you up on that?" she asked, skeptical. "Only, I think I'd be better off with a third year. Even odds any one of them would last longer."

She felt a vicious sense of satisfaction watching his mouth drop open before she turned and walked out.

* * *

A few days later . . .

* * *

Sometimes she had to learn her lessons the hard way. And so it was with James Potter. Apparently, it was never a good idea to insult a Marauder's virility. They, as it turned out, tended to take it as a challenge. Or at least Potter did. Somehow he'd managed to get her into bed again, and he'd been quite determined to take his time about the whole thing. She had ended up screaming his name and begging him to let her finish. It was not one of her finer moments.

Since then, she had managed to avoid him quite successfully. The most frustrating part was that he wasn't even all that attractive. He wasn't _bad_ looking, but neither was he particularly good looking. She could admit – at least in her own head – that Black was, objectively speaking, handsome. Potter seemed to be considered attractive based on the force of his personality, and Lily didn't even like his personality. She hated his stupid, fake messy hair. She couldn't stand his arrogant attitude. And she was absolutely infuriated every time she saw his damn self-satisfied smirk. She was sure it would have gotten worse since last night.

And that was what was so maddening about it. She hadn't even wanted him, and somehow all he had to do was corner her in the common room and back her into her bedroom. And then she had let him do all manner of unfortunate things to her. She had _begged_ him to do all manner of unfortunate things to her.

She rolled her shoulders. There was nothing else to it. She was just going to have to avoid him.

* * *

A few weeks later . . .

* * *

As it turned out, James Potter was not an easy bloke to ignore. Not only did he shag her senseless every chance he got, he had also taken to sleeping with her. As in eyes closed, snoring, mumbling incomprehensible words, sleeping. She would wake up in the morning tangled up in him and actually forget, for a moment, that she couldn't stand him. He really wasn't so bad when he was asleep.

Of course, around his friends, he was his usually tosser self. He would ask her if the sorting hat chose slags for Slytherin house because it was partial to alliteration, or if they – as Slytherins - were just so completely devoid of virtue that they figured being a slag was the best they could hope for.

And she would avoid him at all costs, which required her to basically lock herself in her room all evening. For whatever reason, he seemed to consider coming into her bedroom uninvited –when the door was closed– crossing the line. So she would hide from him successfully for a few days, and then one day she wouldn't be quick enough, and he would catch her in the common room. And then he would whisper how he hadn't meant it, and knew she wasn't a slag, or a cow, or whatever he happened to have called her this time. And she would tell him to bugger off, and he would kiss her, and somehow they'd end up shagging again.

And she would wake up the next morning with him wrapped around her, thinking how incredibly unhealthy this all was.

* * *

_In case you are wondering, this is in no way connected to the story line of "Through No Fault of Her Own." I wanted to write a fic about what might have happened if Lily was sorted into Slytherin, and couldn't decide which direction to take, so I'm writing both simultaneously. They will go very different places. _


	2. 2  Temptation, Thy Name Is

James sat in Potions, watching Evans. This was really all her fault, he thought. She was just so bloody _tempting_.

He watched her discuss something with Slughorn. She lost a bit of her holier-than-thou attitude when she dealt with teachers. She was still a little stick in the mud, but she wasn't quite such a hag. It was really the combination of seeing her act like she was so perfect in public, but knowing exactly what if felt like to have her writhing under him, that did him in.

James shifted a little bit, thinking he had better distract himself or this was going to become a situation. He tried to discretely adjust himself under the desk.

"Prongs," Sirius hissed. "You're staring a bloody hole in Evans again."

James panicked. "Just wondering if she gets her grades the Slytherin way," he said, wishing he could stop. "You know, with her mouth rather than her brain."

Sirius laughed. "Hey Evans," he called quietly, as Slughorn moved across to the other side of the room. James wanted to bury his head in hands, but managed to look bored instead. "James here is wondering if you earn all those O's on your knees."

James saw her eyes flick to him. Fantastic, he thought. He was definitely in for a severe dry spell. He would have to remember to hex Sirius later. When it wouldn't be obvious why he was doing it.

"Well?" Sirius prodded.

"The fact that your mate" she replied scathingly, "there, as the intelligence of fruit bat, doesn't mean we all do." She glanced at James before returning her gaze to Sirius. "Am I to assume he uses your method to get his grades in Transfiguration?" she asked in a honeyed voice.

James wanted to laugh, but he could tell from Padfoot's expression that he shouldn't. He would just keep his mouth shut and wait for an opportunity to make it up to her. He thanked Merlin when Slughorn began loudly discussing some property of some ingredient. It made it impossible for Sirius to respond to her.

* * *

His opportunity to fix things came sooner than he expected. He had an essay due in his Care of Magical Creatures class, but had most inconveniently forgotten it in the heads common room. Wandering in, he stopped in his tracks when he saw Evans studying at the table. She must have a free period now. And _that_ was excellent news. He mentally acknowledged and accepted that he would get detention for skiving off on Care, and probably a poor grade for turning his essay in late.

"Fancy meeting you here," he said, strolling over to her. He made sure to angle so her only retreat was back against the wall.

"Sod off, Potter," she responded as she slammed her books shut.

James shook his head, stepping closer. "I've never been one for following order, personally," he said, walking forward. For each step he took toward her, she took one back. Clearly she hadn't looked to see that there was a great wall she was now no more than three steps away from. "Maybe if you ask nicely," he said, pulling the books out of her hands and dropping them onto the floor next to them.

He pressed his hands into the wall on either side of her head. When she made a move for her wand, he slid his mouth over hers. He had found that with Evans, it was always better to kiss first, talk later. She didn't think very clearly when she was worked up, or – for that matter – when she was coming down.

He shifted closer, pressing his knee between her thighs. Using lips, and tongue, and just a bit of teeth, he worked on her mouth. He felt something inside him relax when she started kissing him back, rubbing against his him unconsciously. When her arms came around him – one gripping his shoulder, one tangling in his hair – he felt like he could actually breathe again.

He thought he should probably say something about Potions. "I'm sorry," he whispered, brushing his lips down her neck. "Everyone knows you're brilliant at Potions," he added, hoping the flattery might smooth over any lingering anger.

She didn't say anything. She never said it was OK when he apologized for being a bastard. She never said she forgave him. She never said anything.

All the same, she was helping him take off her robes. He decided to take this as his answer. Resolving not to think about it anymore, he dragged her to the floor. It was definitely his best Care class ever.

* * *

He had managed to keep her in bed all afternoon. The beauty of Evans was that there was always a window, right after they shagged, of a least half an hour, when she was languid. There was no other word for it. It was the only time, excepting when they were actively shagging or sleeping, when she would remain in his presence without protest. He thought she was just too lazy to make the effort.

He had taken full advantage of one of these windows by jumping up to get food. He had put on his cloak, grabbed the map, and snuck off to the kitchens. He made a slight detour to let his friends know that he was stuck finishing the essay for Care. He lied and said he hadn't finished it before class, and that was why he'd skived off. Tomorrow he would lie and say he had finished it – which wasn't even a lie – and had just decided he wasn't in the mood for Charms that afternoon.

Once all that was settled, he dropped in to the kitchens to get some food. He chose things he knew Evans liked – for instance a platter of cheese and crackers – and things he knew _he _would like. He hurried back, beginning to worry that his window would have closed and he'd return to find her door shut and locked against him.

He felt relief flood him when he walked in and saw it still standing open. He dropped most of the food onto the bedside table in her room. He crawled onto the bed, a bowl of whipped cream and strawberries in his hand.

She made sexy little noises as she rolled over to face him. He leaned down to kiss her, just to be safe. He _had_ been gone a while. Pulling back, he grabbed a strawberry and trailed it across her bottom lip. Her eyes locked with his as she took a bite. He had never been a huge fan of strawberries and cream. But strawberries and cream and Evans, now that he could get behind.

* * *

_Better?  
_

_Naj_


	3. Still Early

Lily opened her eyes slowly. He was snoring, of course, with his face buried in her hair. She had no idea why he would choose to sleep like that. She pulled away slowly, and turned to face him. She sighed. This had been going on for _months_ now. At least he had gotten better at not being a complete arse. Which is to say he had developed a knack for ignoring her completely in public. Which, she had to admit, was still better than treating her like dung.

He scrunched up his nose in his sleep, and she smiled slightly. She glanced over at the clock. She needed to get ready for Transfiguration. She sat up, trying not to wake him. It was easier to get to class on time if she was up and ready before he ever opened his eyes. She scooted gently toward the edge of the bed. And felt an arm wrap around her waist, pulling her backwards. Apparently he was not going to make it easy today.

"Morning," he mumbled, dragging her back against him.

"Yes," she said, "_morning_. As in the time of day when people get out of bed and ready for the day."

"Mmm . . ." he grumbled. "Still early." He wrapped his arms more securely around her.

"James," she said, trailing her fingers down his arm. "We need to get to class."

"Hmmm . . ." he said. But his hands had started to wake up, and were currently beginning to wander.

"We definitely do not have time for _that,_" she said, trying to pull away.

He rolled on top of her. "I don't know about that," he responded, kissing her. "We could always just skip Transfiguration today."

"I am not skiving off on class because you are in the mood for a quick morning shag." She tried rolling her eyes, but the effect was lost when his nipped at her neck in _that_ spot and she moaned.

"Well," he said thoughtfully, "if he we aren't going all, it doesn't actually have to be a _quick_ morning shag. It could be slow morning shag. Or maybe a pair of quick ones."

"Uh uh," she said, shoving him back. She managed to create enough space to make a break for it. She bolted for the door.

She was all the way to the bathroom door when he caught up with her. "James," she said, trying to head him off at the pass. "Think about it for a moment. What will your friends say if we both skip Transfiguration?"

He shrugged it off. "I'll tell them we had head duties. Come to think of it, we could probably convince McGonagall too. You wouldn't even have to get in trouble." He smiled. "I know how you hate that," he said, kissing her again. "This way, you can be bad, and no one even has to find out about it."

She shook her head, hand sliding back to the door handle. "No, James. It doesn't matter if you have the perfect lie in mind. They'll suggest you were off with me, and you'll say something horrible. And I'm just not interested in dealing with that at all."

He opened his mouth to disagree with her, but seemed to realize he had no defense. "Look, I've been better lately," he said finally. "And you know I don't mean any of it. It's just that they wouldn't understand, with you being a Slytherin and all. But _they_ don't have to live with you."

Lily shoved him hard, turning the door knob and stepping into the bathroom.

"No, wait," he said quickly, stopping the door closing by shoving his shoulder into it. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I just mean you're so bloody hot. Any one of them would have fallen victim to it to. You're like the physical embodiment of temptation." He grinned, seeming to think that this was an excellent compliment. Lily had no idea how boys could be so stupid. Girls might like to be called beautiful, but she didn't think she was the only one who would dislike the implication that he would have stayed away from her if he could have. He made her sound like some sort of shameful _fetish_, to be indulged in private but never acknowledged in public.

He was halfway into the room when she lost her patience. She stomped as hard as she could on his big toe. He yelped and jumped back in surprise, giving her the perfect opportunity to slam the door in his face. She flipped the lock into place immediately. She was not going give him a chance to suggest the "shower compromise," which involved both of them, an extra long shower, and well . . . It just wasn't going to happen this morning. She felt a vicious stab of satisfaction at the idea that his balls might actually turn blue.

She shook her head, irritated with herself. If she knew James Potter, he would probably just have his own personal one man shower compromise. She snorted at the idea.


	4. Great Man

Sometimes James just loved Dumbledore. He really was a great man. Fought Grindewald, scared the piss out of Voldemort, gave him the perfect opportunity to get back on Evans' good side. There were so many reasons to love the man.

James had been trying to get round Evans for two and a half weeks. 18 days. More hours than he would like to think about. And he hadn't even gotten close. He meant this literally. She had started petrifying him whenever he got within three feet of her. And the girl was surprisingly hard to sneak up on.

He had been seriously considering using his cloak to bring it off when Dumbledore came through in the clutch. The Headmaster wanted them to run a Defense Club together. He felt it would promote unity and teach students how to protect themselves against the ever growing threat. James felt it would give him a good shot at softening Evans up. All he needed to do was get close enough to touch her. He knew if he could get his hands on her, she wouldn't be able to hold up. He just had to get past that three foot bubble.

He helped her move tables, making a point taking off his robes, so she would have the chance to watch his muscles flex in the black t-shirt he was wearing. He and Sirius had found them in a muggle shop. They were a bit snug, but the shopkeeper had said the girls went mad for the look.

Right when James was starting to feel ridiculous, he saw Lily glance at him. He was fairly sure he'd spotted speculation in her gaze. He pushed a table across the room manually.

"You have a wand, you know," she said.

It took him a minute to process her meaning. Her voice drove him mad. Anytime she spoke, he heard echoes of her breathy moans in his head. He tried to pull off a nonchalant shrug, hoping it looked extra good with the tight shirt. One side of her mouth curled up the tiniest bit. Merlin, he loved her mouth.

He was relieved when students began filtering in. He was close to throwing his whole plan out the window and just begging on hands and knees for her to forgive him. He hadn't even _done_ anything. She was punishing him because she thought he _would_ have done something had they skipped a bloody class together.

He had tried explaining the injustice of it to her, but she had just given him her best 'you're the scum of the earth' look and asked if he could honestly say he wouldn't have been an arse to her if his friends suggested they'd skived off together. He thought it was best not to lie, but she seemed to be just as irritated with the silence he gave her.

No matter. Soon all that would be behind him. He would be back in her bed in no time. His frequent trips to the shower were not helping, and his half-hearted attempts to find a substitute had not produced anyone worthwhile. And they left him paranoid that Evans would find out and be even more difficult.

He pulled his robes back on and proceeded to help her explain the purpose for the club. Quite a few students had shown up. Unfortunately, his friends had decided to come too. It made it harder to make up to her, because he figured they would just remind her why she was mad in the first place. He made certain not to insult her in any way, though.

He focused on helping the younger kids. He figured it could only earn him good will. Several times, he caught her watching him out of the corner of his eye. He was feeling better and better about this plan.

He didn't start to get nervous until they were walking back. If he messed it up, there was no telling when he'd get another chance to fix it. He walked very close to her, careful to be within the bubble when they walked through the portrait hole.

"Well that went –" she tried calling over her shoulder and heading toward her room. Only he caught her hand, pulled her around, pushed her back against the wall, and cut her off with a kiss.

He expected a protest, but instead felt her respond immediately. She must have been suffering as much as he was. He felt a sharp satisfaction at the idea.

When she would have pulled him down to the floor, he shook his head. "No," he said, "I want you in bed." Grabbing her thighs and hoisting her up so she could wrap them around his waist, he walked her back into her bedroom.

It was a while before they went to sleep, but he recognized – just before he drifted off – that this was the first time in weeks he had felt at peace.


	5. Had to Admire the Girl

It was a Hogsmeade weekend. Lily should have been having fun with her friends. Of course, she didn't actually have any friends. And she had just discovered that it would probably be quite a while before she got to have any fun.

She sat in the bathroom of a little diner, staring at the stick in her hand. She looked at the directions, reading it over for the tenth time. She looked back at the stick. It was clear. She was pregnant. She was going to have a baby. She was going to have James Fucking Potter's baby.

She leaned her head back against the wall, fighting off tears. She thought it might have been better if he _was_ actually a complete prat. Instead, he had odd moments of sweetness. Moments when he was gentle with first years, or brought her breakfast in bed, or awkwardly asked her to help him study for Potions, or wore excessively tight muggle shirts to try and show off, but just ended up looking like an idiot. Being James Potter, he naturally followed up these moments with others where he was a complete bastard. The sort of bastard who called her a slag, or hexed her because his friends suggested it, or forgot her birthday. Or wore excessively tight muggle shirts to try and show off (she was very conflicted about this one). So she was left half loving him, and half hating him, and hating herself altogether.

She would have to give him a chance, though. It wouldn't be fair to just assume he would be a shit dad because he was a shit guy. She had to give him the opportunity to prove himself.

Tossing the test in the bin, she apparated back to Hogsmeade and headed up to the castle. She would have to wait to tell him until tonight. They had talked this morning, and both said they would be spending the entire afternoon in Hogsmeade. She had heard vague rumors that he was going with Marlene McKinnon.

She sighed, not wanting to consider the implications. Muttering the password, she entered the common room.

She blinked slowly, rapidly reassessing her decision to give him a chance.

There, on the couch – on _their_ couch – was James Potter, who just happened to be on top of – _insi de_ of – McKinnon. She just stared at them, trying to decide if the urge to scream or cry was more overwhelming at the moment.

They hadn't noticed her. They were very focused. She turned around and backed out of the common room. To door creaked as she went through it, and he saw his eyes flash to hers right before it shut. He didn't come after her, though. Couldn't have his Gryffindor girlfriend knowing about his Slytherin slag.

* * *

He was surprised to find Evans in the common room when he came up for dinner. He thought for sure she would shut him out after this afternoon. She was sitting very primly in the arm chair, doing her homework and studiously avoiding anything to do with the couch. He sat down on the table in front of her, pleased when she didn't immediately get up or tell him to bugger off.

"Listen," he said, feeling like an arse already. "About Marlene," he shrugged awkwardly, "it's just a different situation."

"A different situation?" she asked. Her voice was very quiet. "What does that mean?"

"Just, with us," he gestured between them, "it's very fiery. Passionate, you know?"

She looked at him, but didn't speak. Normally she shouted. It was one of the things he liked about her. This silence was scaring him more than he'd like to admit.

"With Marlene, it's more that we fit together, you know? Like as a couple," he finished lamely.

"And we could never be a couple." She didn't really make it a questions, but he felt compelled to answer anyway.

"Well, we're great in bed and all, but," he made helpless motion, "with you being a Slytherin . . ." he trailed off, shrugging. "It's not exactly the sort of girl I'd bring home to my mum, is it?" He tried to make her see that it wasn't that _he_ had a problem with her. It was just that everyone else in his life would.

She blinked several times. He had an awful moment where he thought she was going to cry. But then she straightened her back and nodded once, accepting. You had do admire the girl, he thought, taking it so well. She rose gracefully and walked into her room, gently closing the door behind her. He heard the lock snick into place.


	6. Hate

The worst part was she missed him. The bastard had actually sat there and told her – right to her face – that she wasn't good enough to bring home to his mum, and yet somehow she _missed_ him. Still, it hadn't weakened her resolve. She had not let him touch her since that night. For that matter, she had not even spoken to him

She was irritated when she walked into her bedroom and found him sitting on her bed the night before school got out. She stopped in the doorway.

"You aren't welcome in here," she said in a very calm voice.

"I know," he said, staring at his hands. "Only, I wanted to apologize, you know, before it was too late." He looked up. She hated that he could look so sincere. "I know it's too late to take anything back, but I wanted you to know I was sorry before it was too late to say it. You know, before we've both gone out separate ways and never see each other again."

She just looked at him. She didn't have anything to say.

He got up from the bed and came over to her. Leaning down, he kissed her cheek. "I've missed you," he whispered.

She closed her eyes. Hating herself, she turned into him and felt their lips brush. She sensed his surprise, but he didn't step back.

He kissed her slowly.

Pulling back to watch her, he trailed a hand down the front of her shirt. When she didn't protest, he began undressing her. They both moved like they were in heavy water. He laid her down on the bed and let his mouth follow the same path his hand had taken.

She felt him notice the change in the shape of her, the tiny bit she was showing. And she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he thought she had just put on a little weight. She could see in his eyes that he assumed it was because she was sad over him.

In that moment, she hated him. She started to push him away, but he misinterpreted her look and smiled at her.

"It looks good on you," he said, leaning down to kiss her. "Really."

Somehow she lost the energy to stop him, to stop them, to stop herself.

* * *

He lay on his side, one arm draped over her. He felt ill. So, so much worse than he had after she had caught him with Marlene.

When she had kissed him, he had been relieved. He had thought it would be the perfect way to say goodbye, to leave on good terms. Now he was laying in bed with her, wondering if he was actually going to get sick.

She had cried.

He couldn't wrap his mind around it right. Before, it had always been angry, or playful, or just normal. She had definitely never cried in bed with him.

He had kissed his way up her neck and brushed his lips over her cheeks, shocked to find them wet. He almost hadn't been able to continue. If he hadn't already been inside her, he would have stopped it.

He had never seen her cry before. It wasn't her way. She was stoic. She was Evans. She didn't cry. Certainly not over him.

He closed his eyes, trying to stop his stomach rolling over. He was slowly coming to the brutal conclusion that he was every bit as horrible as she had said he was. Had he been doing this to her all year?

He slowly stroked a hand down her side, feeling her sudden stillness when he rested it on the edge of her stomach. Merlin, she was really this self-conscious about putting on a bit of extra weight? The girl could gain another stone and still be perfect.

She closed her fingers over his, leaving them there for a moment. Then she pulled his hand off of her, rolling into a sitting position at the same time.

"Goodbye, James," she said quietly, pulling on clothes.

"Lily, I . . ."

She shook her head, and whatever words he might have said caught in his throat when he saw fresh tears in her eyes.

He watched her leave.

She didn't come back to the common room that night. She wasn't in the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning. He didn't know how she got her possessions from the common room. He didn't know how she got home. All he knew was that he wasn't going to see her again, and he hadn't found a way to fix whatever part of her he'd broken.


	7. Family

Lily could only stare at Dumbledore. When he had asked her to stay behind while the rest of the students left on the Hogwarts Express, she had not been expecting this.

"Could you repeat that?" she asked when she finally found her voice. She thought he might have gone mad. She _hoped_ he had, at any rate.

"My information has it that there was a prophecy made." He looked at her sympathetically over the tips of his fingers. "If I am correct, and I believe I am, it refers to you," he waved a hand toward her midsection, "and your unborn child."

Lily took a deep breath. "And this prophecy –" she couldn't bring herself to say it. She swallowed, regrouping. "This prophecy that you believe is about my child," she rested a hand on her stomach, feeling the slight bulge, "it means my _baby_ has the power to vanquish Voldemort?"

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "At the moment, however, I am more concerned with your safety. Voldemort knows of this prophecy. Indeed, his interest is what led me to speak with Ms. Trelawny in the first place. She does not, of course, recall what she said. But," he added modestly, "I am a fairly accomplished Legilimens, and I – unlike Voldemort – choose to go directly to the source, instead of operating based on the secondhand knowledge of those who sneak around listening at doors."

Dumbledore sighed deeply. "Of course, however he found out about it, we are quite certain that Voldemort knows of the prophecy. That being the case, we are equally sure that you," he glanced at her significantly, "_both_ of you, are in great danger. I would offer you the protection of the Order of the Phoenix."

Lily stared at him, processing. She had heard James talk about the Order. He and his friends had all intended to join. She closed her eyes. Did she really want to entrust the safety of her baby into the hands of someone who couldn't even stand up to his own friends? And the others, she wouldn't even want them near her child, let alone being responsible for his – or her – protection. They were bullies. And they were children. They would assume that they only had to worry about people who had been in Slytherin. She sighed. If the last seven years had taught her anything, it was not to trust anyone. It wasn't only Slytherins running around in Death Eater Masks these days.

She shook her head. "Thank you for your concern, Sir, but I think the fewer people who know my whereabouts, the better."

When Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak, she shook her head again. "I trust you, truly. Of anyone in the wizarding world, I trust you. But it's not only me I have to be concerned about." She looked down, rubbing a hand over her growing belly. "And, like you said, Voldermort uses information gained by listening at doors." She raised her shoulders slowly, in a sorrowful parody of a shrug. "Every person you enlist to protect me is another person who could lead the Death Eaters right to me. Right to _us_." She shook her head slowly. "I think this is a case where less truly is more."

Dumbledore considered her for a long moment. Finally, he nodded. "It is, of course, your decision."

Lily gave him a small smile. "Thank you," she said. "If you would be willing, I would take any advice you might have as to how I can return home unmonitored. I'll," again she raised her shoulders, looking pained, "make my way alone from there. But I would like to say goodbye to my family first."

Dumbledore nodded. "You will be several hours ahead of the Hogwarts Express, so I believe you will be safe to say a short goodbye. I do suggest you keep it swift, however. We cannot know whether anyone has noticed your absence on the train."

Lily agreed hastily. Dumbledore rose and lifted a paperweight from his desk. Muttering a quick spell, he held it out to her.

"It is a portkey," he said. "It will leave in exactly three minutes."

Lily nodded, taking hold of her luggage and reaching toward the paperweight.

"Lily," Dumbledore said. "Please know that if you are ever in need of my assistance, you have only to ask."

Lily felt tears come to her eyes for the first time in the conversation. She looked up at him. "Thank you," she whispered as she closed her hand over the paperweight and felt it transport her to her childhood home.

* * *

"Daddy?" she called out. She never called him that anymore, but something about standing in the old familiar kitchen seemed to make her revert to her childhood name for him. She tried to blink back tears, wishing she could be ten again. Wishing she could feel safe.

"Lily?" he called back strolling into the kitchen from the front room. He smiled brightly, obviously pleased at the surprise. He folded her into a hug.

She breathed deeply, feeling he would keep her safe and knowing he couldn't at the same time. She felt the tears begin to fall.

"Love?" he asked, looking down at her face. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, not knowing how to explain. How could she tell him she and her baby were in grave danger? God, how could she even tell him she was pregnant?

She tried to make an excuse, tried to come up with a story he would believe, a story that would make him let her go unprotected. But instead it all came spilling out.

She loved him for the fact that he didn't interrupt, that he just let her speak. When she had finished explaining it all, when she had calmed down enough to try to wipe her tears away, he looked at her seriously.

"We need to leave right away, then," he said.

Her head shot up. "Dad, you can't-"

"Of course I can," he replied. His tone brooked no argument. "If your mother were alive, what do you think she would say to the idea of me letting my baby girl run off to raise a baby – and face untold dangers – by herself." He shook his head. "No, we'll leave for the airport immediately. I'll stop at a bank and empty my account on the way."

"But Dad, you can't possibly expect to fight wizards," she said quietly. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but he obviously didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

He shook his head. "You said yourself that there was little hope of anyone protecting you if this Voldemort monster found you." He looked at her seriously. "If it comes down to hiding, I think you are better off among muggles. And, in all honesty, you have very little experience fending for yourself in _my_ world." He smiled. "This is what family is for, love."

"What about Petunia?" she asked.

He sighed. "Petunia will be safe with Vernon. No doubt she'll be angry at our abrupt departure, but there's nothing that can be done about that."

And with that, he dragged her and her luggage out to the car, down to the bank, and off to the airport.


	8. Nothing But Dust

Three months out of school, and James was fairly pleased with his life. He, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had gotten a place together. And they were all working for the Order, just as they had hoped. To be honest, James had been a bit surprised at how quickly Dumbledore had agreed to their entreaties, but he couldn't say he was disappointed. They were really doing something to fight this war.

Still, James couldn't quite shake the feeling that Dumbledore wasn't telling them everything. He had, twice now, disappeared for a short while without comment. When they inquired, he said he was off on a quick _errand._ They all thought it was complete bollocks, but if Dumbledore didn't want to tell them what was going on, they couldn't make him.

It really only bothered James because he felt like it had something to do with him. At the Order meetings, he regularly got the feeling that Dumbledore was watching him. But when he would look up, the wizard would be paying strict attention to whoever was speaking.

Whatever the case, James thought, waiting for Sirius to finally announce he was ready, being in the Order was still all he had wanted and more. Tonight they were going as backup while Moody did a quick – and not entirely legal – raid on a suspected Death Eater's house. It had been confirmed empty, so they were just looking for any evidence of future plans, but James and Sirius were beside themselves with excitement. Moody was furious he was missing out because of the full moon, and James expected that Peter would be just as disappointed when he returned from visiting family.

"Ready, mate?" Sirius asked, leaning casually against the doorframe.

"Oh, only for the last forty-five minutes," James responded, rolling his eyes. Somehow Padfoot always made it seem like he hadn't held everyone else up with his ridiculous primping.

Sirius grinned. "Prongs, we're still going to be at the pub an hour before Moody told us to meet him." He shook his head. "Bloody hell, mate, if you're this early with the birds, it's no surprise you can't manage to keep one on the hook."

"Haven't got any problems lasting with the ladies," James said, a quick and devastating image of Evans flashing in front of his eyes.

Sirius laughed. "Right, that's why you and McKinnon are just friends," he said.

James shrugged. "We're better that way."

"Right," said Sirius skeptically. "If that's the case, then you wouldn't care if I had a go at her, yeah?" It was clear he expected James to be angry at the suggestion.

James considered. "Well, as she is a friend, I wouldn't like it much if you messed her around. But," he shrugged, "if you're serious" he rolled his eyes at his friends predictable grin. "I was going to say I wouldn't mind as long as you were serious about her, but since you're _you_, I'll just ask that you be upfront about your intentions, casual though they may be."

Surprise was painted all over his friend's face. "You really wouldn't mind?" he asked. "I mean, assuming she knew the game," he added quickly.

"Nah," James said. "She's a nice girl. I can't blame you for your interest."

* * *

James collapsed into bed, disappointed. The night had been a bust. The house was cleared out. Nothing but dust to look at, and barely even that. Moody hadn't seemed disappointed. He said that it was all part of this work. He claimed you had to slog through a dozen dead ends to find one lead. Still, James had been hoping to find _something_.

He wasn't entirely clear what it was they were looking for, though. The Order had information that Voldemort was very focused on a prophecy about the person who could destroy him. James probably would have indulged in a few fantasies that he would be the one to take the bastard down, but he knew the prophecy referred to someone who hadn't yet been born.

The Order didn't seem to be concerned about finding this person, not that they could at the moment, but they hadn't even bothered trying to sort out who the likely parents were. Instead, they were trying to find out who Voldemort thought it would be. Each time they came up with a potential target, they threw all their effort into protecting the parents.

James knew there had been a few close calls, and one tragic mistake. The girl who had died, the one the Order hadn't gotten to in time, had been a Gryffindor. James remembered her from school. She was two years ahead of him. She had been seven months pregnant at the time. James closed his eyes, willing away the awful image of her laying sprawled and blank-eyed. He hadn't seen it, but the idea still haunted him.

James tried to distract himself by thinking about Sirius' obvious interest in Marlene. He wondered how long his friend had been looking in that direction. Unfortunately, thinking of Marlene had the same affect it had had for months. It made him think of Evans.

He wondered where she was right now. She was smart enough that she could have done anything after school finished. He hadn't heard anything about her, though. He had tried to casually find out from friends in healer training if she had gone that route. He remembered her expressing an interest.

He smiled, recalling the discussion. She had been so earnest, talking about how she wanted to help people. He felt his mind wander to other conversations, other activities.

He indulged in a quick fantasy about her, wishing he could stop himself.

As he rose to shower, he thought that it had worked well enough for a distraction. He just wished it didn't always leave him feeling quite so empty.


	9. For the Best?

_11:30 am, Adelaide Hills, Australia_

_

* * *

_

Lily hefted herself out of her chair, waddling over to the refrigerator. There was really no graceful way to walk when you were nine months pregnant. Of course, people were very forgiving. So forgiving, in fact, that they would just reach right out and pat your stomach, as though somehow being pregnant made your body public property.

Lily evened out her breathing, resting her hand comfortingly on her belly. Her darling boy had a tendency to get active when she was feeling particularly irritated. She sighed. It wasn't so bad really. The old ladies – even the young women – she didn't mind. She understood that they were reliving their past, or dreaming of their future, or just responding on some bizarre hormonal sisterhood level. But that creepy old man this morning, she thought, was a different matter altogether. Even now she felt a distinct urge to shower.

Lily shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. She looked at the food in the refrigerator. Shaking her head, she began pulling it out. She tossed out vegetables that were no longer in their prime, organized the food into distinct groups on the counter, and then began wiping down the refrigerator. She hummed as she cleaned.

* * *

_2:00 am – London, England_

_

* * *

_

James sat at his kitchen table, munching on hobnobs. He did love his biscuits and tea. He looked up when Marlene wandered in.

"Oooh," she said, plucking a biscuit from his hand, "I will take one of those, thanks."

James grinned. "I've always been the very soul of generosity."

Marlene laughed at him. "Yes," she said. "I can tell from the way you're clutching the rest of the package to you, clearly ready to protect them with your life."

She pulled her knees up under her, looking ridiculous but natural in a pair of Sirius' pajama pants. She eyed his tea meaningfully.

He rolled his eyes, putting the kettle back on and sorting out her tea with as little grace as possible.

"Don't tell me you're still angry at me for stealing him away, James." She smiled as she said it, clearly teasing.

"Me? Angry? Why would I be angry? It's not as though you lured Sirius into your clutches, causing him fall off the face of the earth." He paused, jaw dropping comically. "Wait, come to think of it, that's exactly what you did."

Marlene laughed. "I would say you can't blame him, but since you didn't fall prey to my – allure was it? – I suppose you might blame him."

James turned around, considering her. "Not in the least. If I had better sense, I would have done the same," he said, and meant it.

Marlene continued to nibble on her biscuit. How she could still be working on the same one baffled him. He eyed her suspiciously, wondering if she had filched one of his while his back was turned.

"What did happen there?" She asked.

He looked back at her, knowing the bafflement showed on his face.

"With us," she clarified. "We just sort of . . ." she made a helpless gesture, unable to find the right word.

He nodded. "Yeah." He shrugged, ready to brush it off, and then turned back around, thinking maybe it would be nice to actually talk about it. "Do you really want to know?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. "Well absolutely. Especially if there's a story behind it."

* * *

Lily finished replacing the last of the food in the refrigerator. She smiled, pleased with the tidiness. As she began to rise, she felt a contraction. At first she thought it was just another Braxton Hicks, but this was much more painful and seemed to spread to her back.

She clenched her teeth, doubling over. When it passed she took a deep breath. Thinking this might be it, she stood up, grabbed her birthing bag, and began walking to the neighbor's house. It was a short hike, but the doctor had said moving around would help the process along, and Lily was hoping for a short labor.

* * *

"Truth?" James asked.

Marlene gave him a look. "No, James, I'd like you to lie to me. If there's any chance the story could involve goblins," she smiled her appreciation when he handed her a cup of tea, "pixies, and a trip to the moon, even better."

He grinned at her, sipping at his own cup. He hadn't been able to resist replenishing his own tea. "Do you remember Lily Evans?" he asked.

Marlene cocked her head, considering him. James was beginning to think she had been spending too much time with Sirius. "Of course. The head girl."

James nodded.

Marlene's brows shot up. "Don't tell me you harbored a secret interest." She sounded very nearly delighted.

James watched her for a moment, trying to decide whether he should admit it. Slowly, he nodded.

Marlene's eye widened. "I don't believe it. I never thought I would see the day when James Potter didn't have the balls to move on a girl he liked."

"Who said I didn't?" he asked, sipping his tea.

She leaned forward. "You did? Wait, is that why you ended things with me?"

He shook his head. Then he paused, thinking it through. "Sort of," he said.

* * *

By the time she had arrived at her neighbor's, Lily had firmly decided never again to plan on walking anywhere when she might end up doubled over, clutching at her midsection and wishing she had a hand to hold so she could break all the fingers in it.

She knocked hard on the door, trying to arrange her features so she didn't look ready to commit mass homicide.

* * *

"Sort of?" Marlene asked.

James looked apologetic. "We were already, I dunno, _involved_ when I asked you out, actually."

She blinked at him. "What exactly does 'involved' mean?" she asked.

He looked sheepish, suddenly wondering if he should have just kept his big mouth shut. "Shagging?"

"Is that a question?" Marlene responded. "Because, it seems to me you should know whether you were shagging someone or not. Unless of course your penis has been detached from the rest of you."

"Right, well, yes. We were shagging. I'm certain of it," James said, now fairly sure this had been a terrible idea.

Marlene looked baffled. "If you were shagging Lily, why did you ask me out?"

"Because I'm a prat." James shrugged. "I thought you and I would do well as a couple."

"And you were just going to keep shagging her?" Marlene asked.

"I've already admitted to being a prat," he said, getting his back up.

She snorted. "Well, that makes it all better then." She rolled her eyes. "I take it Lily didn't like being the mistress and told you she wouldn't shag you if you kept up with me." James was moderately heartened by the fact that she didn't seem bothered particularly by the idea.

He shook his head. "Actually, she walked in on us."

Marlene stared at him. "In the common room?" she squeaked.

He nodded again.

"Truly?" she screeched. "The one time we shag and your secret girlfriend catches us? She must have _hated _me."

James scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly. "Actually, I think she mostly hated me."

"Understandably," came Marlene's heartfelt response.

* * *

Lily's dad met her at the hospital. He checked her in under a false name. As they rolled Lily into a delivery room, she saw him standing out by the chairs looking as terrified as she had ever seen him look.

* * *

"Yeah," James agreed. "Understandably."

"Were you . . . I mean, was it casual for her too?" Marlene asked. "Because Lily Evans never struck me as particularly easy. And you lot were never very kind to her."

"You mean I was a complete bastard to her every chance I got." he said, scrubbing his hand through his hair.

Marlene nodded. "Something like that."

James shrugged. "I think it wasn't exactly casual for her, but I didn't realize that until the night before we left. She was furious, mind, when she saw us together. And I didn't exactly help matters with my completely arsehole attempt at an explanation."

"You tried to explain?" Marlene asked, disbelieving. "How exactly does that conversation go? 'Listen, love, you're a great shag, but I've got other needs too.' There isn't really a lot of room to defend yourself on that one." She looked at him expectantly.

"That was actually fairly close," he said quietly.

Marlene closed her eyes. "What exactly did you say?"

He shrugged awkwardly. "That it was a different situation." He rubbed at his shoulder. "That, you know, she and I were all passion, but you and I made a good couple."

Marlene stared at him. "Oh, James, tell me you didn't actually say that."

He sighed. "I might have also mentioned that she wasn't the sort of girl I'd bring home to my mum," he said, with an air of getting the worst over with.

She blinked. "Wow," she said, raising both eyebrows. "Dodged a real bullet with you, didn't I?"

James snorted into his tea. "Yeah. Who could have guessed Sirius would be the better bet?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "That," she said, "remains to be seen."

* * *

The Doula Lily had arranged to have help her through the birth was a fantastic women. Lovely, really. And Lily knew that. It was only that whenever she told Lily to breathe, Lily felt an almost irresistible urge to scream at the woman.

Still, Lily tried to focus on her breathing as directed. She had promised herself she wouldn't be the sort of woman that the whole hospital could hear. She would be stronger than that. If her baby was going to have the power to vanquish the dark lord, he was going to need a mother who didn't fall apart at a bit of pain.

She squeezed her eyes shut when the next contraction came, trying to breathe into the pain. It didn't really help at all, but Lily had successfully avoided screaming. And that was really all she could hope for at the moment.

* * *

"If she called it quits after she caught us," Marlene said, giving him a look. "And you did nothing to redeem yourself and everything but outright call her a slag," she added. "Why did you finish things with me?"

At his look, she laughed and shook her head. "I'm not carrying a torch for you, I promise. I wasn't even before this most enlightening conversation. And now, honestly, if you got within ten feet of anyone I cared about I think I might actually have to castrate you." She grinned maliciously at James' wince. "I'm just wondering, since it obviously wasn't a matter of feeling guilty, or you wouldn't have started dating me in the first place."

James thought about it. "Actually, I think it _was_ about guilt. I just sort of, I dunno, felt completely rubbish every time I thought about it." He passed his hands over his face. "You didn't see her, when she was leaving. Her face, just . . ." he shook his head. "And every time I was with you, I could see the way she looked, you know, and it just . . ." he shrugged, un able to find the words.

"But it took you months longer to realize it hadn't been casual for her?" Marlene asked, voice skeptical.

James traced the lines on his mug. "I thought she was just offended, like. I didn't realize until the night before we left that it might have been more."

Marlene considered him. "What made you realize?"

James shook his head. It didn't seem entirely fair to talk about that night. He doubted Lily would be particularly comfortable with any of this conversation, but he was almost certain she wouldn't want him telling Marlene that she had cried. Lily had always been strong. She probably considered crying over him one of the lowest points in her life.

* * *

Lily gasped, trying to catch her breath. It had been quick. At least, that's what the nurses seemed to think. Lily was fairly sure that the contractions and the pushing – dear God the pushing – had lasted an eternity. Possibly more. She closed her eyes. She was absolutely certain that if it had continued for another second, she would have given in to the screams trying to claw their way out of her throat.

* * *

"Doesn't matter," James said. "It doesn't do a lot of good to realize what a prat you were in school, once you're already finished. It's too late to make up for it."

Marlene considered him for a moment. "Have you looked for her at all?"

He shrugged. "I've kept an ear out," he said. "But, honestly, even if I could find her, I don't think she'd have anything to do with me." He smiled sadly. "It's better this way."

* * *

Lily stared at the baby in her arms. Her beautiful baby boy.

"Have you decided on a name yet?" the nurse asked.

"Harry," she said. "Harry Neil Evans."

The nurse smiled at her. "That's a lovely name. And with Thompson as a last name, it's really quite strong. Don't you mind anyone who tries to tell you not to have two middle names. You call the lad what you like."

Lily nodded, not really listening. She couldn't seem to stop starting at her son.

_

* * *

_

_So, I have a few quick notes for anyone interested in reading them. First off, as you can see, I decided against option one. Being almost a magician, I've pulled option four out of a rabbit hat and decided to run with it. It's basically option 2 plus a scaled down version of option 3 (probably). _

_ I would definitely like to thank those of you who weighed in. Reviews are always lovely, and I'm a big fan of specifics. (I've been forever spoiled by the 2 things you like, 2 things you'd change rule of college fiction classes). _

_ Anyway, in terms of this particular chapter, I would be very interested to hear what you thought of the format. It's hard for me to gage how easy the POV changes are to follow if you don't already know what the characters are going to do, say, and think. Which is to say that your input would be helpful._

_ Finally, and this is a major side note (in the sense that it has very little bearing on anything), I thought I'd let you know about a couple of songs I've been listening to a bit obsessively while writing this story. I've never been into songfics, and this definitely isn't one (and, really, none of the songs are entirely applicable), but I thought I'd share them anyway, because I'm a big music fan and I can't stop it influencing the way I write characters. _

_ 1) The Avett Brothers – "I and Love And You" – This one has totally warped internal James to suit it's needs. I have no idea whether it comes through in the story, but it's often in my head while I'm writing him. The situations don't really jibe, but this particular version of James (and, for that matter, Lily) would have a very hard time saying those three words._

_ 2) Turin Brakes – "Sea Change" – Actually a fantastic song. Just sort of connects to the decision to fight and all that._

_And somewhat embarrassingly . . . ._

_ 3) Blue October – "Into the Ocean" _

_ 4) Rob Thomas – "Mockingbird" _

_Because, you know, sometimes you gotta get your emo on._

_*I fully admit that this was the longest author's note ever, but if even one person tries out a song, it'll make me happy. Plus it was a long chapter (for me, at any rate) so you can't complain too much. _

_-Naj  
_


	10. No

Lily walked home. She had been out for a drink with some of the ladies from her birthing classes. They had all had their babies within a few weeks of each other, and had made an effort to maintain contact. Tonight, they had gone to have a quick drink at a pub in the little town. Ann had declared that they needed one night to be women, rather than mothers. Lily had enlisted her father to watch Harry. He had encouraged the idea, thinking that Lily deserved a break.

* * *

James sat having a drink with Dorcas. He had had to obtain permission from Marlene before asking her out. He thought the girl was going to demand a kidney as collateral, but she'd settled for his most sacred promise that he would not – under any circumstances – pull any of the crap he had with Lily.

It had really been no problem to promise. He never wanted to experience that sort of guilt again. He was turning over a new leaf. He smiled, looking at the girl in front of him.

"So, what made you join?" Dorcas asked.

"The Order?" he clarified. "Oh, you know," he said, when she nodded, "chance to see the world, fair pay, excellent benefits."

She laughed. He did like her laugh. There was really nothing better than a fit girl with a good laugh and a clear sense of right and wrong.

"Truly, though?" she said. "A lot of people realize he's a monster, but few are willing to fight."

James shrugged. "A lot of people don't have the option. I mean, if I had to worry about making rent, I might not have the luxury."

She snorted. "I don't think most people would look at fighting in a war as a luxury."

He laughed. "Yeah, but I'm a Gryffindor through and through." He shrugged again. "Anyway, I guess I'm just not interested in seeing hate and prejudice win the day, you know? Someone has to stand up to people like this, or atrocities will become common place."

She nodded. "Yeah, I've heard he wants to make muggleborns register. And there are whisperings about prison just for being a witch or wizard without a close magic relative."

James agreed sadly. "That's not the worst of it, either. I could see him being the sort to be satisfied with nothing less than complete extermination. Just murdering everyone who he considers less than him or a potential threat."

* * *

Lily wandered up the lane, smiling at the night. It was warm, and clear, and lovely. She grinned up at the stars. It was nice having friends, she thought. Ann with her upfront attitude. Chelsea with her overwhelming thoughtfulness. Ashleigh with her quick wit.

* * *

Dorcas shook her head. "It's absolute madness."

"Yeah," James said. "Which is why we fight." He smiled. "Lucky for us though, we have enough sense to still enjoy the finer things in life." He raised a glass and clinked it against hers.

"Lucky for us," she smiled back.

"So," she said, "do you mind if I ask you a question?"

He shook his head. "Course not."

She tilted her head, smiling in a most distracting manner. "What took you so long to ask me out?"

He shrugged. "I've been a bit of an arse the last few relationships I've tried. I wanted to make sure I was in a better place. So that I knew I was going to take this seriously and not mess you around."

"So considerate of my feelings?" she teased.

"That and Marlene had threatened to castrate me if I got too close to anyone she cared about," he responded.

She almost choked on her drink, she laughed so hard.

* * *

And the best part was, thought Lily, they all understood what the others were dealing with. Waking up every few hours to feed the baby, panicking at the first cold, the ridiculous paranoia that if she couldn't hear him snoring, he wasn't breathing. She couldn't count the times she had woken Harry up in the first few weeks over _that_ particular fear.

* * *

"You're right," Dorcas said, catching her breath. "You must be a Gryffindor to the very core if you are willing to risk Marlene's wrath."

James shook his head. "No one is that brave." He grinned. "I got her permission first."

Dorcas raised her eyebrows. "How did you get her to change her opinion of you?"

"Is it that bad still?" James asked, surprised.

Dorcas laughed again. "Not that I'm aware of," she said. "But then, I wasn't aware she threatened to castrate you either."

James took an uncomfortable drink. "I think that was more exaggeration than anything else."

She smiled. "I'm sure. She seems to think very highly of you, actually. Says you've grown up quite a bit since Hogwarts."

James watched her finish off the last of her drink.

"We should probably head back," he said, regretting it. He felt like he could have stayed talking to her for hours.

She nodded.

He settled the tab efficiently and rose to walk her home.

* * *

Lily laughed softly to herself as she walked. She may have more reason to be concerned for her son's safety than most parents, but she had discovered from her friends that most of what she had experienced was perfectly normal for new mothers. She took a deep breath and spun in a slow circle, basking in the feel of the night and the slightly tipsy feeling the alcohol had caused.

* * *

"Tell me," Dorcas said, glancing at him sideways on the walk back to her flat. "Has Sirius grown up as well."

James considered. "I'm not entirely sure." He couldn't see her, but he had the distinct impression she rolled her eyes. "About Voldemort, I think he's always been pretty mature."

"And about girls?" she asked.

"Well," James said, "there he might be a bit, well, stunted. But he seems fairly keen on Mar."

"Oh?" was all she said.

"Well, for starters, he asked me if I'd have a problem with it," James explained. "In the past, Sirius would never go after a girl if he thought I'd have an issue with it. So it makes me think he's a bit more interested than usual. And, beyond that, I've really never seen him devote this kind of time to anything but the Order and, well, pranking."

She laughed. "That's fair, I suppose."

"Really," James added, "I almost never see him anymore. And I live with him!"

Dorcas nodded. "That's how it is with Marlene too." She gave him another look. "She's always over at yours. Probably there right now."

He nodded. "Most likely."

He glanced up when she stopped, realizing that they had already arrived at their destination. Time seemed to move so quickly when he was with Dorcas.

She stood waiting on her doorstep. He looked at her for a long moment before leaning in to kiss her softly. He pulled back far more quickly than he might have liked. He was trying to work on being a gentleman, after all.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. Being a gentleman was overrated.

* * *

Lily hummed quietly to herself as she walked. Rounding the last bend before her house, she stopped dead in her tracks.

* * *

It took about three seconds into the flat before James was kissing her again. She responded enthusiastically.

He pushed her back against the door, shifting to get a better angle. His mouth worked on hers while his hands began to wander. She didn't seem to mind in the least.

As he started unbuttoning her blouse, she pulled back.

"Bedroom's over there," she nodded in the direction of a battered door.

He murmured something that hopefully conveyed acknowledgment before going back to kissing her.

Once he had the shirt successfully off, he started pulling her back toward the room she had indicated.

She managed to pull off his shirt on the way.

Once they got through the doorway, he tumbled her onto the bed. She moaned as he trailed his mouth down her neck, hands working at the button on her jeans. Once he had them off, he really went to work.

* * *

"No," Lily whispered, staring at the dark mark hovering over her house.


	11. Could Have Been Sleeping

_I tried so very hard to wait and make it a proper cliffhanger, but it turns out I have no self-control at all. It shouldn't surprise anyone that immediately after reading "A Game of Thrones," I looked up the books online to see what all characters Martin had killed off. _

_

* * *

_

She pulled out her wand and ran to the door. It was standing open. She shot through it, cast a quick glance around the living room, and bolted for the nursery.

She stopped at the threshold, staring at her father's body. Steeling herself, she walked slowly to Harry's crib. He was laying on his back, eyes closed peacefully. He looked like he could have been sleeping. Tears streaming down her face, she reached out to stroke his cheek. His skin was still warm on the backs of her fingers.

She reached in and lifted him out of the crib. He stirred and mumbled, laying his head on her shoulder. She felt her knees give and slid down to the floor, clutching him to her.

She stared at her father's lifeless body. There would be no miracle discovery there. His eyes were blank and staring. He must have tried to protect Harry. He would never have been a match for the Avada Kedavra, though. He sacrificed his life for nothing.

She brushed a hand over Harry's dark hair, carefully avoiding the gash she noticed on his forehead. She had no idea how he had managed to survive.

When she heard a noise, she curled her body over her son's while simultaneously drawing her wand.

She stared into the relieved face of Albus Dumbledore.

"You've survived," he said.

Lily looked down at her father's corpse. "Some of us," she responded in a quiet voice.

Dumbledore nodded sadly. "He must have loved you both very much," he said.

Lily gave him a watery half smile. "He was so good through all of this." She stopped speaking, trying to get her tears under control. "I shouldn't have gone out tonight. I should have been here."

Dumbledore laid a hand on her arm. "It is normal to blame yourself, but being here would likely have only added another body to Voldemort's tally."

She looked up at him, before returning her gaze to her son. "But how did Harry survive?" she asked, raising her eyes to meet his again.

He shook his head slowly. "I believe that is a question for another day. At the moment, we need to get you both out of here and to safety."

She nodded, rising quickly. "Do you know how he found us?" she asked.

Dumbledore shook his head. "I'm not certain of anything at this point, except that it seems that when he tried to curse your son, something went wrong. Voldemort appears to have gone."

Lily stared at him, mouth working inconsequentially. "But," she finally managed, "do you mean the prophecy meant _this_?" she whispered. "Surely Harry couldn't have vanquished the Dark Lord as a _baby_?" She sounded as though she was trying not to get her hopes up.

He considered the question. "I think not. I expect that Voldemort will return, but at the moment, the encounter seems to have weakened him greatly. Enough for him to flee, at any rate." Dumbledore ushered them toward the door. "I suggest you leave everything behind, unless it's of absolute importance. Many of Voldemort's followers are very nearly as dangerous as he is. If they know he came here, then you and Harry are still in very grave danger." He looked at her seriously. "I would once again offer you the protection of the Order of the Phoenix."

She considered him. "Can we go somewhere else first?" she asked. "Somewhere that we can discuss the situation, without the decision already being made for me?"

He nodded and guided her out of the house. Once they were beyond the perimeter, and the protections Dumbledore himself had set up, he made a new portkey out of a rock. They both grabbed on and were transported to the middle of a seemingly endless field.

"Where are we?" Lily asked, looking around.

"A place I think you might feel safe," he replied.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Is this near your headquarters?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, actually, it's a family farm in rural Washington, in the United States."

She stared blankly at him. "Why would I feel safe here, in particular?" she asked, baffled.

He smiled. "It isn't so much that I think you would feel especially safe here, as that it's an unlikely place for anyone to look for you. The man who owns this farm is a muggle. It would take very thorough digging to connect him to the wizarding world."

"And what would that connection be?" Lily asked.

"His granddaughter was a witch." He sighed. "It was a great loss when she and her husband were killed last month."

Lily looked up, surprised. "I'm not trying to be insensitive," she said, switching Harry to her other side, "but if they were targets, wouldn't this be a dangerous place for us."

Dumbledore shook his head. "I don't think so. The man who owns this farm was the maternal grandfather of Amy Harbour. They share no name, have no other family connections given that her parents have both passed away, and never lived in the same country. She simply came here to visit sometimes in the summer. I only know if it because she once told me I reminded her of her grandfather." He smiled. "There is, as it turns out, actually very little resemblance. She was a first year at the time, and I think saw all men with white hair as very like her grandfather."

"I'm sorry Dumbledore, very sorry for your loss, but I'm still unclear as to why we are here," Lily replied carefully.

Dumbledore nodded. "I understand. You see, Amy and her husband Alan left behind a small child, who also could have fit the prophecy made more than a year ago. We, which is to say the Order, interrupted the Death Eaters attempts to murder the entire family. The child survived, but we were careful not to let that knowledge go beyond our members. As far as the wizarding world is concerned, little Logan Harbour perished with her family last month."

"But, instead she lives here with her grandfather," Lily surmised.

Dumbledore smiled at her, as though she had answered a difficult question in class. "Exactly. But her grandfather is quite aged, especially by muggle standards, and is not well suited to care for a toddler. I submit that you would benefit from a safe place to raise Harry while Voldemort's supporters are rounded up. And Miss Logan would benefit from a mother's care."

Lily thought seriously about whether this was a choice she was comfortable making. She looked around at the fields, and then down at the sleeping face of her baby boy.

"Do you truly believe this is a safe place for him?" she asked in a very soft voice.

Dumbledore tugged on his beard thoughtfully. "I do. And I will do everything in my power to make it safer. As soon as you agree to make this your home, I can begin adding layers of protection."

Lily scrutinized Dumbledore's face. "Alright then," she said.

He nodded sharply. "Excellent. Let us go and introduce you to your new charge."

* * *

_In case you are wondering, the answer is no, I'm not from rural Washington, and this is not a way to insert myself into the fic. I could spend a load of time justifying the original character, but if I do a decent job when she's actually in it, I shouldn't need to. Fingers crossed on that one. _

_

* * *

_

_Kablooshky, you've clearly set up shop inside my head. It does make me feel better about not being able to resist posting, though. Was I way too obvious?_

_Growing Hope – "Creepy old man" was totally random. I've just had a lot of friends complain about people touching their pregnant bellies. They really do distinguish between guys and girls, and get much more creeped out by the dudes. Hope this chapter satisfied your yen for Dumbledore and Death Eaters._

_Aeflo, Silleri, and Malio – Do you still feel like it's moving too fast? I hop forward a lot, but I've tried to stay in scene a bit more, rather than summarizing._

_Ariyaa – I hope you don't mind I didn't spend any time on James and Marlene as a couple. They were always meant (in my head at least) to end up as friends. _

_Greenly-Toxic, -SCP- , VampireSomeday, Nitapooh1, lilybookworm, and Selena Lupin, – Thank you for your reviews. They successfully guilted me into continuing when I was going to switch to focusing on original stories. That's reason number 726 to review, in case you're wondering. I can't be bothered to list the other 725. It's also reason number 825 why I will never make my living as a writer. _

_-Naj  
_


	12. Not Possible

_Six Months Later . . .  
_

_

* * *

London  
_

_

* * *

_

James looked up from his newspaper as Sirius stormed into their flat.

"Did you hear the absolute shite Karkaroff is spreading?" he shouted to James.

"Oi!" James responded. "Mate, I know these trials infuriate you, but can we keep the venting to a reasonable volume?"

"Of course," Sirius responded, coldly and quietly. "Only I thought you might like to know the Igor Karkaroff is claiming the Peter – as in Peter Pettigrew, one of your best friends – is a Death Eater. I'm _very_ sorry I didn't moderate my tone better when I gave you the news," Sirius added angrily.

James stared at him. "But that's madness," James said. "There's absolutely no way." He rose from his chair. "We're going to Dumbledore now and tell him it's Bollocks."

Sirius nodded. "We'll grab Remus on the way."

* * *

_Washington_

_

* * *

_

Lily looked up from feeding the kids their lunch. They were seated side by side in highchairs, looking like they could have actually been sister and brother. Since learning to walk, they had both lost their baby weight. Of course, they had also gained the ability to stop Lily's heart. The other day she had let Logan out of her sight for ten seconds and the little rascal had crawled into the kitchen.

When Lily – having scooped Harry up for fear of what _he_ would do if left to his own devices – had tracked her down, Logan had been attempting to climb the kitchen counters. Most 18-month-olds would not be this ambitious, but Logan had emptied out half of the Tupperware cupboard and was trying to heft herself up using the shelving inside as stairs. Harry had laughed for ten minutes straight. Lily hadn't been able to maintain her stern demeanor with the pair of them giggling happily. Lily shook her head, remembering

She looked up when Jack entered. At 6'4" and still remarkably spry, the 72 year old man was nothing like the invalid Lily had pictured at Dumbledore's description. He still ran every aspect of the farm, which – admittedly – _would_ have made him ill-suited to care for Logan on his own. But he was not a doddering old man, as Lily had expected.

Lily smiled at him. He reminded her nothing at all of her father, but she still felt that same sense of safety around him. He had the gruff, no nonsense manner that made fluttery worrying seem foolish. And he was surprisingly good with the babies.

He sat down opposite Harry and Logan, picking up Harry's spoon and helping him shovel in a bit more food. Growing boys do need sustenance, Lily thought. She smiled, looking at Logan, who was currently shoving food into her mouth hand over fist. Growing girls needed it as well, thought Lily.

She brought Jack over a bowl full of hearty stew and some fresh baked rolls. She took her responsibility as housekeeper seriously. He thanked her and dug in, pausing occasionally to help out one of the children.

"How's Eric working out, then?" asked Lily.

Jack shrugged. "He'll do, I suppose," he said. He leaned back in his chair, eying her. "Has himself a mighty big crush on you, if I'm any judge."

Lily brushed it off. "He's a child."

Jack gave a hearty guffaw. It was one of the things Lily liked about him. He did everything 110%: working, eating, laughing. He never did anything halfway.

"You're barely twenty yourself, there, girl," he said. "That boy's the same age as you. Might even have you by a few months."

Lily shook her head. "There's a world of difference between twenty and raising two toddlers and twenty with nothing more to worry you than who you'll see a film with next Saturday night."

"You ask me," Jack said, putting his feet up, "you could do with taking in a movie or two."

"Lucky for me I didn't ask you, then, isn't it?" Lily smiled sweetly.

Jack threw his head back and laughed. "You've got a mouth on you, you do." He grinned at her. "Amy was the same way. All sass." He shook his head. "Girls today."

Lily nodded primly. "And with any luck, Logan will have just as much sense as we have."

He shook his head. "Nothing to do with luck. In my experience, girls with backbones get them from their mothers."

* * *

_Hogwarts_

_

* * *

_

The three of them stared at Dumbledore. All any of them could do was stare. It simply was not possible.

"I'm sorry boys, but he has evidence. I've just returned from verifying it myself," Dumbledore said. "There's no doubt at all. Peter Pettigrew was working for Voldemort. He was passing him information from the Order."

James opened his mouth to speak, but couldn't seem to form any words. There was no way it could be true. No way.

"You expect us to believe he was letting them know when we were on to them, when we were getting close. You expect us to believe that _Peter_ sold us out?" Sirius shouted.

Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "It is much worse than that, Sirius. It appears he was focused on the prophecy. In several cases, it seems that rather than protecting people we thought Voldemort might go after, we led the Death Eaters straight to them." Their old professor looked like he had tears in his eyes. "Karkaroff had irrefutable proof that Peter Pettigrew informed his fellow Death Eaters of Amy and Alan Harbour's location, as well as that of the McGrew Family, and Tanya Pierce. "

James closed his eyes. Those deaths had haunted him, had haunted everyone in the Order.

"But the girl. The Harbour baby. She survived," Sirius said desperately. "If Peter were a Death Eater, they would have known that," Sirius seemed relieved to have found an argument against Peter's betrayal. James felt hope flare.

Dumbledore looked at Sirius pityingly. "They did. Karkaroff has records of when Peter first told them, and all the searching they have done since. I am only . . . It was pure luck that she . . ." he faltered. "That I chose not to reveal her location to anyone at all. That I arranged for her protection without informing those closest to me of my plan." He shook his head. "Had I trusted the Order, as I was sure I could, they would be dead now."

"They?" Remus asked, speaking for the first time. He looked worn beyond words.

Dumbledore glanced up sharply. "Young Miss Harbour and those gracious enough to take her in."

"Now you suspect Remus!" Sirius shouted.

James put a restraining hand on his arm. "Sirius, mate, I think it's time we face the truth."

Sirius shook his head. "We haven't even seen proof. It's only Karkaroff's word, which is garbage as far as I'm concerned. Would you really throw a friend over on so little?"

James looked back at Dumbledore. "Is there a way we can examine the evidence?" he asked. "I think it's important that we know for certain, one way or another."

Dumbledore nodded. "You should also know that at this point, no one can find Mr. Pettigrew. It appears that he has fled."

James closed his eyes. He would have liked to have Sirius' faith in their old friend, but he knew even if Karkaroff's word could not be trusted, Dumbledore's was unimpeachable. James knew what they would find when they went over Karkaroff's evidence.


	13. How It Would Have Been

_Four years later_

_

* * *

_

_London_

_

* * *

_

James flopped into a chair facing Marlene.

"I can't do it," he said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Do what?" she asked.

"Move in with her," he said desperately. "Dorcas wants us to move in together,"

"James," Marlene said patronizingly, "you've been together for nearly four years now. If you aren't in a place to move in together, why are you still dating her?"

"Hark," he said. "Who's talking? I haven't seen any cohabitation plans from you and Sirius."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Yes, well, he has _trust_ issues. To be honest, he always had them, but ever since Peter . . . " she trailed off.

"Yeah," said James, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

Marlene huffed out an angry breath. "I know it must have been horrible, but honestly, the lot of you won't even _discuss_ it." When James said nothing, she continued. "You need closure, if you're ever going to get past it."

James shrugged. "I'm past it," he said, know she wouldn't believe him. "Anyway, that's not my problem."

"No?" Marlene asked skeptically. "Then what is? Why don't you want to move in with Dorcas?"

James traced a crack in the table with his forefinger, debating. "You'll hate me if I tell you."

* * *

_Washington_

* * *

"Lily," Jack said, walking her to the car. "You're being ridiculous. It's been five years since the attack. Nobody has seen hide nor hair of that Voldermort bastard," he shuffled awkwardly. "Pardon my language. But it's fact. Either he's dead, or the yellow bellied cow liver has crawled into some rat hole and never intends to come out."

Lily smiled at him. Rising on her toes, she kissed him on the cheek. "I couldn't help it," she said, laughing when he blushed. "It's a bit like hearing my grandfather curse."

"My point is," he continued as though she hadn't done or said anything, "that these kids need to go to school and be around other children just like any other five-year-olds. "

"I know," Lily said. "It's just so hard for me to let them go. What if something happens to them? What if they do magic? What if-" But Jack cut her off.

"Lily Evans, those children are more responsible than half the adults I know. And you said yourself, neither of them has done magic unintentionally for more than a year." He shook a finger at her. "Not to mention that you've been drilling the importance of 'safety and secrecy' into their heads since before they could talk."

Lily sighed. "I know. It's only that I feel like I need to be there to make sure that everything goes well."

He smiled, patting her shoulder. "So has every parent since the beginning of time. The first day of school is a rite of passage. Doesn't matter a lick if the kids are magic or not."

Lily smiled. "I suppose you're right," she said. And taking a deep breath, she waved goodbye to Jack and got in the car, ready to drive Harry and Logan to their first day of school.

* * *

_London_

* * *

"James," Marlene said carefully. "What did you do that would make me hate you?" She raised a hand when he opened his mouth. "Let me rephrase. What did you do to my _best_ _friend_," she ground out, "that would make me hate you?"

James took a deep breath. "I didn't _do_ anything, exactly. It's more what I feel. Or don't feel."

"Mmmhhhmm . . . And what," Marlene asked, "Don't you _feel_ about my friend. You know, the one you had no problem saying you _loved_."

James sighed. "I do. It's just," he made a helpless gesture, "not enough. Not the way she deserves. She's brilliant. She's smart, and funny, and strong, and fit, and bloody perfect."

"I'm not seeing the problem here," Marlene said, clearly baffled.

James shrugged awkwardly. "I thought it was ok, you know. I thought it was good, and we'd work out and all."

"And then you had a conniption fit because she's obviously too good for you?" Marlene offered.

James gave her half a smile. "She is. Trust me, I know. I hate that I know how much I'm going to hurt her."

Marlene stared at him. "I don't understand. Why do you have to hurt her?"

James looked away. "I dreamt about Lily the other day." He heard Marlene huff out an annoyed breath, but refused to look up. "And when I woke up, I didn't realize it was a dream right away." He rubbed at his neck, refusing to make eye contact. "And when I realized I was with Dorcas, I was . . ." he trailed off, not willing to say it out loud.

"You were _what_, James?" Marlene asked angrily.

James sighed. "Disappointed. I was disappointed. And I know that's crap," he said, before she could respond. "I know it. What kind of a person is in a relationship with one girl when he's stuck on another? I mean, what sort of a bloke wakes up next to the women he says he loves and is disappointed that she's not the girl he was _shagging_ in school?" He met her eyes, pleading. "I know it's terrible. And that she's way too good for me, but it's how I felt. I can't change that. And I don't want to pretend that this can be something," he lifted his hands helplessly, "that it can't. I don't want to do that to her."

Marlene stared at him. "But you _have,_ James. How can you not see that? You've been doing that to her for four _years_."

James was close to tears. "But I thought, I dunno, that she's brilliant, and I _do_ love her. I meant it when I said it, every time. It's just . . ."

"She's not Lily," Marlene finished for him.

"Yeah," he nodded slowly.

* * *

Lily pulled into the school parking lot. She looked over her shoulder. Taking a deep breath, she tried to speak in her most cheerful voice.

* * *

"Alright you two," she said. "First day of school." She smiled through the terror.

They started unbuckling themselves and chattering immediately.

"I'm going to be the very best reader in the whole school," Logan announced.

"No," said Harry, "you're not, 'cause you aren't better than the big kids."

"Yes, I am," she returned. "Grandpa Jack says I read even better than he does and he's _way_ older than the big kids."

"Maybe Grandpa Jack is just a bad reader," Harry suggested.

"No he is not," Logan shouted. "Make him take it back, Mommy," she looked imploringly at Lily, who tried not to laugh. Somehow she couldn't see the grizzled old farmer taking offense at being called a 'bad reader.'

"Your sister is right, Harry. It isn't nice to say that people are bad at things," Lily said.

Harry scrunched up his eyebrows. "What if they are bad?" he asked. "You're 'sposed to be honest" he informed her.

Lily smiled at him. "It's good to be honest, but some things are better left unsaid. Like how we don't _ever_" she shook her head to emphasize the point, "talk about magic when other people are around."

They both nodded quickly.

"Well, not pointing out when someone is bad at something is sort of like that. It's better to just focus on the good things. Instead of saying what they are bad at, you could look for something they are good at," she said.

Harry considered. "Like how Logan is good at reading," he said.

Lily nodded.

"And how I'm good at flying," he added.

Lily stopped nodding.

He frantically shook his head, eyes widening comically. "But I would never ever say that around anyone but us." He looked around, as though drawing attention to the fact that no one else was in the car. "Because we keep magic secret," he said, nodding seriously.

"Yes," Lily said, "We do."

Logan reached forward to tug on Lily's hair, drawing her attention. "What if someone isn't good at anything?" she whispered, very concerned.

Lily tucked Logan's hair behind her ear. "Everyone is good at something," she said. Smiling, she opened her door, heading around to get them out of the back seat.

Logan looked up at her thoughtfully as she climbed out of the car to stand next to Lily. Harry scrambled across the seat to join them.

"You're good at telling stories," Logan said, taking Lily's hand.

"And making cookies," Harry added, grabbing her other hand.

Lily laughed, walking them in to the school.

When they got to the right classroom, Lily took them in to meet the teacher.

"And who do we have here?" the cheerful round woman asked.

Lily released both their hands, placing one on each child's shoulder and pushing them forward slightly.

"Harry," she brushed a hand through son's hair, "and Logan," she did the same with her daughter, "Evans," Lily said.

"Well, hello, Harry and Logan Evans," the teacher responded brightly. "I'm Mrs. Abernathy, and I'll be your first grade teacher."

"Hello Mrs. Abernathy," the pair chorused politely.

Lily leaned down and kissed them both on the cheek, before waving goodbye and heading home. She thought a good cry was in order. Her babies were growing up much too fast.

* * *

_London_

* * *

"Has it occurred to you," Marlene asked, "that you're only hung up on Lily because you don't know how it could have turned out? That you've just built it up in your head to be something it's not?"

"Yeah," James said. "Trust me, I've told myself that a million times." He combed both hands through his hair, leaving it messier than when he started. "Only, I don't think I did. When I dream about her, it's not some fantastical scene that would never happen. It's just how it was, you know, when we were alone and I hadn't just fucked it up. It's just how it felt to go to sleep next to her, and wake up with her, and listen to her talk about _anything_. And when I dream and it's not just a memory, I'm pretty sure I'm just dreaming about how it would have been."

Marlene just watched him, saying nothing.

He forced himself to look straight at her. "I love Dorcas. She's fantastic. But she deserves someone who feels that way with her, you know?" He sighed. "And I'm just not him."

Marlene pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her cheek on them. "I can understand that, James," she sighed. "I just wish you had realized it four years ago."

"Yeah," James said. "Me too."


	14. A Whole Lotta B

_Eight years later_

_

* * *

_

_London_

"To Moony," James said, lifting his glass, "the newest addition to the Hogwarts teaching staff."

"And the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher the school will ever see!" Sirius added.

They all raised their glasses and toasted a blushing Remus.

"Thanks, everyone," Remus said, smiling widely. "Really."

"So, when do you head off to start shagging seventh years?" Sirius asked loudly. Marlene smacked her husband in the back of the head. Three years married and she still hadn't managed to domestic him one bit, James thought, smiling at the pair.

"What?" Sirius asked, feigning innocence. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Right, well, I'll let Dumbledore know he should never let Sirius near the school, or trust any of his recommendations," Remus joked.

"Recommended you, didn't I?" Sirius responded immediately. "Or are there some things you'd like to confess, dear Remus?"

Remus just laughed along with everyone else.

"Anyway," James said. "That was the emptiest threat I've ever heard. You've already brought us on board for substituting for you during the full moon."

Sirius nodded happily, right up until Marlene spoke. "Where Sirius will be an excellent example for the students," she said, eyeing her husband. He nodded seriously at her, and then tossed a wink to James. Marlene caught it, as Sirius meant her to. She shook her head in mock despair.

James glanced over at Dorcas, who was sitting at the table with a little black haired toddler in her lap. They seemed to be holding an extremely serious conversation. James doubted very much that either could understand what the other was saying. He caught Dorcas' eye and smiled at her.

"Please tell me you aren't barking up that tree again," Sirius said from beside him. Marlene had gone over to join Dorcas and the baby.

"What?" James asked.

"Godfather to Cordelia or not, I think Mar would murder you if you messed Dorcas around again," Sirius said bracingly.

James shook his head. "No, I wasn't thinking that. I heard she's seeing Dirk Cresswell," he said.

Sirius nodded. "Sound like they're getting pretty serious," he replied, watching James out of the corner of his eye.

James smiled. "Good," he said. "He's a decent bloke." He looked at Sirius. "You figure he can make her happy?" he asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah," he responded. "Marlene says she seems . . ." he shrugged, trailing off.

"Better than when she was with me?" James suggested.

Sirius smiled apologetically. "Something like that."

"That's good," James said. "I want her to be happy." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm still hoping that we'll manage to be friends someday, you know?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah." He smiled. "You sorted it out well enough with Marlene," he said positively.

James looked at him sideways. "Marlene and I dated for approximately ten minutes while we were in school. Dorcas and I were together for years."

"I'm just saying," Sirius shrugged. "There's always hope."

"I suppose," James agreed, watching the girls dote on his goddaughter. He glanced at his friend. For all his jokes, Sirius had turned out to be an excellent father. And Marlene just glowed as a mum.

* * *

_Washington _

"Harry, come _on,_" Logan shouted from the doorway to Harry's bedroom. "We've got Market today, and you know Eric hates it when we're late."

"Lea' me 'lone" Harry mumbled, rolling over and pulling the covers over his head.

"It's not a nightmare, Harry," she said bracingly. "You really do live on a farm. And we've got more than a two hour drive before we even get to Seattle, and then we have to set up for the Sunday market."

"Go 'way," Harry grumbled, dragging a pillow over his head to try to block out the sound. He was asleep again before the door snicked shut.

It felt like no more than seconds had passed before he was dragged roughly out of bed.

"Whaaaa? Whazzit?" he tried, looking around him. Oh no, oh no, no, no, he thought, as Eric hefted him over his shoulder in a fireman's lift. "I'm up," he shouted. "Eric, Eric, I'm up."

The bulky farmer did not respond. He carried Harry past his mother and sister, out the door, and out to the edge of the river that ran through the property.

"Really, Eric, I'm up, you don't have to –" he quit speaking because it was suddenly vital that he hold his breath. Eric had dumped him unceremoniously into the freezing water.

"That wasn't," Harry said, spluttering, "necessary at all. I would have gotten up."

Eric shrugged unsympathetically. "Should have taken your sister's wakeup call as the gift it was." He shook his head. "You're coddled, the pair of you."

"It's six a.m." Harry responded indignantly. "On a Saturday."

Eric just looked at him.

"Right," Harry said, shivering. "I'll go get ready."

He stomped onto the porch. Opening the door, he stopped at his mother's look.

He widened his eyes. "You can't possibly want me to stay out here until I'm dry," he pleaded.

"Of course not," she laughed. "Go around back. You're sister will bring you a towel and you can hang the wet clothes on the rail."

Grumbling, he headed around to the back of the house. Logan met him there with the promised towel.

"You could have warned me," he said, grumpily.

Logan just shrugged. "I'm not your keeper. I did you a favor trying to wake you up before Eric took it upon himself. You're the one that told me to go away."

Harry scowled. "It's not like a meant it. I was asleep!"

Logan faked an incredulous look. "Sleeping? On a Saturday morning? Harry what world do you live in?"

Harry groaned. "One day," he said in a slightly wistful tone.

Logan laughed. "You're going to be that college freshman who fails out because he can't bring himself to get up before noon."

Harry shook his head. "3:00. In my dream world, no one has to get up before 3:00 in the afternoon."

"Four more years, buckaroo," she said. "And then no more farm." She glanced around. "Can you really tell me you won't miss it?"

Harry shrugged. "I'd miss the people. And some of the animals," he laughed at her look. "I'm sorry. I forgot your whole 'people are animals too' bit."

She raised an eyebrow. "While I think it's true that some people are animals, I think you meant my whole 'animals are people too' bit, which I don't think is something I've ever actually _said,_" she correctly primly.

Harry did a fairly accurate imitation of her voice. "Mom, we can't eat Buttercup. What are we, cannibals?"

She rolled her eyes. "I was _eight_, Harry," she said. "And anyway, I loved that cow."

"Grandpa Jack told you not to name the beef," Harry reminded her.

"I know," she sighed. Then she grinned at him. "It was actually kind of nice to see his old methods utilized this morning." She continued grinning despite Harry's irritated look. "I'm glad Eric stayed on to run the farm after Grandpa Jack passed away. I'm glad we didn't have to leave," she said.

Harry nodded, glancing around. "Yeah, I guess I would miss it."

She smiled. "Just not the hours?"

"Definitely not the hours," he agreed.

* * *

_London_

"So," Sirius asked in a casual tone, "any birds caught your eye lately."

James rolled his eyes. "It remarkable, really, how you've managed to keep your one track mind despite being married with children."

Sirius grinned. "Married with _child,_ James," he corrected. "Last I looked, Cor was definitely just the one baby."

James laughed. "Fair play to you."

"You might think you've succeeded in distracting me, but you would be entirely wrong," Sirius commented. "I'm still waiting for an answer."

James shrugged. "There's plenty of women have caught my eye, but I'm sticking to my philosophy on dating."

Sirius nodded. "I believe the Americans call it 'nail and bail'," he said. When James glared at him, he shrugged unapologetically. "What? 'Shag and leave' doesn't have the same ring to it." He looked thoughtful. "There really is something pleasing about a good rhyme."

James scowled at him. "I do not 'shag and leave'." At Sirius's looked, James groaned. "Or 'nail and bail' if you prefer," he said. "I just . . ." he shrugged.

"Stick with one night stands?" Sirius offered.

"Choose girls that know the rules," James said through clenched teeth.

Sirius pondered the phrase. "The rules being that it's all shagging and no commitment?" he clarified.

James stared up at the ceiling. He was beginning to see the utility of prayer. "I suppose you could say that."

"Right," Sirius grinned. "And I have. My point is, are there any _particular_ birds that have caught your eye lately?"

James shrugged. "No," he said shortly.

Sirius shook his head. "Listen, mate, you're really in the best position you'll ever be in. I mean, you're an auror, which is basically a straight in. And you're just about the perfect age. You can date – or shag – women from twenty to fifty without it seeming off at all." He put his hands on James' shoulders, shaking them. "If you don't take advantage of the situation, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

James raised both brows. "Are you trying to tell me you regret not taking advantage of it?" James asked, jerking his head toward Marlene and the baby.

Sirius looked ready to hit him. "Of course not! Best mate or no, another comment like that and I'll have to rearrange your face."

James held up both hands. "I'm not the one going on about regretting not shagging all the birds between the ages of twenty and fifty," James said.

Sirius paused. "I could see how you might misinterpret that," he said fairly. "I meant it more in a . . ." he shrugged. "I guess, I'm happy now, and I'd like to see you and Remus the same." His eyes widened dramatically. "Merlin, I've become a woman," he said in a shocked voice.

James laughed as he watched Sirius wander off, shaking his head and mumbling to himself.

* * *

_Washington_

"So," Lily began, taking advantage of Eric and Harry having gone off to grab lunch. "Your brother mentioned that you and Chris broke up."

Logan shrugged. "Yeah."

Lily gave her a look. Enough time as a mom, and she had learned a whole vocabulary of looks. This one was what Lily thought of as her "please elaborate" look.

Logan sighed. "I dunno. We just didn't fit, you know. I mean, first of all, I'm only fourteen, so . . ." she shrugged again, "it's not like dating is really a _necessity_." Lily did a mental happy dance. "Plus, he just wasn't . . . driven enough."

Lily raised both eyebrows. "Oh?"

Logan gave her a half smile. "I know, right?" she said, tucking he hair behind her ear. "His band might actually make it, but it's just not particularly worthwhile, is it?"

Lily smiled, silently thanking whatever powers gave her a daughter who didn't think being a rockstar was worthwhile.

"I like music as much as the next person," Logan said, "but it doesn't really do anyone any _real_ good."

"Well," said Lily, putting on her best patronizing mom tone, "lets save the firefighters and doctors for when you're a bit older, shall we?"

Logan laughed. She glanced over at Harry and Eric as they approached. "At least even Chris was better than Jessica Mathers," she said, raising her voice to ensure that her brother would hear.

Lily sighed. These two could never resist teasing each other.

Harry gave her a look. "There was nothing wrong with Jessica," he said.

Logan rolled her eyes. "More importantly," she said, "there was nothing right with her. You could have done as well with a blond life-size doll." She laughed. "Come to think of it, Lazlo could probably procure one for you," she said, referring to Harry's best friend.

Lily caught Eric's eye and looked away, trying to choke down her laugh.

Harry snorted. "I'd tell him you said that, but I'd probably just end up with a creepy doll for Christmas." He shook his head.

Logan grinned. "But it would seem so familiar after the last three months with Jessica Mathers," she said sweetly.

"Logan," Lily chastised.

Logan tucked her hair behind her ear. "Sorry," she mumbled. "Jessica Mathers has very pretty hair," she added grudgingly.

Harry laughed. "You realize that you're only adding to your point that there was nothing to recommend her right? I mean, if the only good thing you say about her is that she has pretty hair . . ."

Logan looked like she was racking her brain. "She hasn't actually failed a class yet," she tried. "Though, come to think of it, she might be cheating to get her mediocre grades. I'm fairly sure I say Laz with an essay that had her name on it."

Harry considered. "Yeah," he said finally, "I could see that I guess." He grinned. "It was a dark time in my life."

Logan laughed. Glancing at her mom, she smiled in a fair imitation of innocence. "But she _would_ make an excellent beauty queen," she said, nodding sincerely.

Lily just shook her head.

* * *

_Sorry, I know this is a lot of exposition, but I feel like it's necessary to get the characters where they need to be. Now I bet you can understand why I was so tempted to end where I had planned and then just do a separate fic. It's a much quicker way to get between point A and point C (point C being where GrowingHope and Kablooshky get their wishes granted). Hopefully the journey through B hasn't been too boring._

_-Naj_


	15. Dumbledore

_Two years later_

_Washington_

Lily looked up when the dog started barking.

"Hush, Rake," she called. The mutt shook its fleecy black coat, traipsing over to her. He did, however, quit barking.

They answered the door together. Rake sat, staring ponderously up at Dumbledore. Lily thought the dog didn't know what to make of him. Lily could understand. Even having known the man for more than 20 years, Lily still sometimes felt the same. She certainly didn't know what to make of him appearing on her doorstep unexpectedly.

"Come in," she said, swinging the door wide and grasping Rake's collar, just to be safe.

"Thank you, Lily. I'm very sorry for the intrusion," he said politely. Reaching a hand down to stroke the dog's head.

"Is everything alright?" Lily asked, immediately looking around for her children. They had gone out to exercise the horses. She was just about to run out to check on them when Dumbledore placed a hand on her arm.

"Everything is fine, Lily. I was merely hoping to impose on your good nature," he said, smiling apologetically.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Please," she said. "Anything I can do. You've helped us so much over the years."

Dumbledore raised a long finger. "You shouldn't make promises when you don't know the terms, Ms. Evans," he said. "I have a feeling you will want a chance to think this particular favor over, before agreeing to it."

Lily nodded. "Well, why don't you come in the kitchen? I can put on some tea, and you can tell me what the favor entails."

Dumbledore accepted immediately.

In the kitchen, Lily set about putting a kettle on. Dumbledore watched her patiently. She knew he would understand the need to do it the muggle way. After all, he had been considerate enough to dress in muggle clothing. He looked a bit odd in the stiff new jeans and crisp button down shirt. His beard was cleanly brushed. And he appeared to be wearing a pair of wellingtons. Lily shook her head. Leave it to Dumbledore.

"Do you take sugar?" she asked.

He smiled. "Of course. Two hearty teaspoons, if you will. And a good splash of milk, as well my dear."

Lily glanced out the window as she complied. She could just see the paddock from here. The kids were walking their horses back into the barn as she watched. She felt as though she could breathe again.

Setting a cup of tea in front of her old professor, she sat across from him.

"Well, then," she said. "What's this favor?"

He smiled. "Always straight to the point. It's one thing I've long admired about you, Lily," he said.

She smiled, but simply waited for him to explain his presence.

"Professor Flitwick has taken ill," Dumbledore began.

"Oh my," said Lily immediately, raising a hand to her mouth. "Will he be alright?"

Dumbledore smiled comfortingly. "Oh, yes, but the healers have encouraged him to take a year off to rest and recuperate."

Lily nodded. "Are you wondering if he can stay here?" she asked. "I would certainly be happy to have him as a guest, but," she waved a hand, "I'm afraid muggles might be a bit thrown off by his stature. We could, of course, simply tell everyone he's a dwarf. But," she looked unsure, "I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable about it."

Dumbledore sipped his tea, listening to her offer with a small smile. "You, my dear, are the very soul of generosity," he said finally.

"Well, he was my favorite professor," Lily said. Eyes widening, she immediately rushed on. "Not that I didn't find them all excellent. I just really took to Charms, you see. And Professor Flitwick was always lovely to me."

"Oh course," Dumbledore responded. "And I'm certain he would be grateful for your offer, but that was not actually the favor I came to ask of you."

"Oh," Lily blushed, regretting her tendency to jump to conclusions. "Sorry," she said.

"Not at all," smiled Dumbledore. "It only proves once again what an asset you would be."

Lily looked at him, confused.

"Professor Flitwick said he would only take the year off if he felt he was leaving the students with a suitable replacement. When I asked who he would recommend," Dumbledore paused, leaning forward slightly, "he only gave me one name. Yours."

Lily could only stare at him.

She snapped her head around toward the back door when she heard it open.

"Mum," Harry called. "Do you know what we're having for dinner?"

Logan nodded, coming around the corner with him. "We're both starving, and . . ." she trailed off, staring at Dumbledore.

They both turned questioning eyes to Lily. Guests they didn't know were so uncommon as to be literally unheard of.

"This is Professor Dumbledore," Lily indicated him. "Professor, these are my children," she said, gesturing to the pair, "Logan and Harry."

Dumbledore rose immediately and shook both their hands, expressing his pleasure at meeting them.

"Are you here about the prophecy?" Harry asked, ever the subtle one.

Dumbledore looked surprised for a moment, but recovered quickly. "I hadn't realized you had told them," he said to Lily.

She nodded. "I thought they would be safer. And more careful," she adding, throwing them both a look as she recalled an episode involving a bull, a rope, and several broken bones, "if they knew."

"Ah," said Dumbledore. "Very wise, indeed." He smiled at the children. "No, I'm here to try to convince your mother to come to Hogwarts and teach for a year."

Harry turned back to Lily, grinning hugely. Logan looked much less happy at the idea.

They were definitely going to have to discuss this.


	16. Please, Oh, Please

_Shortly thereafter_

It had taken a lot of convincing, but the combined efforts of Dumbledore and Harry had won out. Lily was satisfied that her children would be safe at Hogwarts, and she had been convinced that she could not teach them subjects that she did not excel at, like Transfiguration, as well as the Hogwarts teachers could.

When September the first arrived, Lily, Harry, and Logan had already been at Hogwarts for three days. They had brought with them their dog, Rake, and their cat, Feather. Feather wasn't a problem, because cats were allowed in the dormitories. It wasn't even a question of who would take her, as she had always, essentially, been Logan's.

Rake was more of an issue, but Dumbledore decided to make an exception and allow the dog to live in the castle for the year. He had forestalled the inevitable fight for possession by doing so only on the condition that he stay with Lily, in her quarters. Allowing one or two students to have a dog was only asking for trouble.

At the moment, Lily was organizing her classroom. She didn't want to change anything of Professor Flitwick's, despite his letter stating that she should make herself at home, but she did want to ensure she knew where everything was.

She was just peering in a box of sewing needles when she heard someone clear his throat. She looked around quickly.

Remus Lupin was grinning at her, leaning casually against the doorframe. Rake growled and Lily immediately dropped the box, scattering hundreds of needles. Lupin pushed himself off, not even glancing at the dog, and strode into the room. He cast a quick spell to gather them up, and then held out a hand to her.

She looked at it, perplexed. Deciding that it was simpler just to take it, she shook his hand and introduced herself.

He chuckled. "We went to school together for seven years, Lily. And we were prefects together for three of them. I think I remember your name."

Lily shrugged. "I was a bit surprised that you didn't seem to, but I wasn't going to point it out."

Remus nodded. "I understand. We weren't exactly close in school. Which is actually why I wanted to come say hello. I thought an olive branch might be in order," he smiled, trying to keep from sounding awkward.

Lily shook her head. "Really. That was a lifetime ago." She waved it away. "Bygones and all that."

He looked grateful. "Well, if there's anything I can ever do to help out, I would be more than happy to," he offered.

Lily smiled her thanks. Thinking that if she'd known one of James Potter's best friends was teaching here, she definitely wouldn't have accepted the post.

* * *

Lily watched the sorting that evening with bated breath. She had told both of her children that they were, under no circumstances, to allow the hat to sort them into Slytherin. She knew it took the student's preferences into account, so she thought it would be enough just to lay down the law with the kids. Of course, she had also made it clear to Dumbledore that if either of them were put in Slytherin, all three would leave immediately.

She knew that Slytherins weren't all bad, and that the other houses had produced their fair share of Death Eaters, but the percentage was definitely higher among the green and silver. She simply wasn't willing to risk it.

When the first years had all been sorted, Dumbledore nodded to McGonagall, who went to gather Logan and Harry. She returned with the pair trailing curiously behind her.

Dumbledore rose, addressing the assembled students.

"Ahem –" he said. "Before I go on with the customary reminders, I would like to introduce you all to some new students we have this year." He indicated the two standing next to McGonagall. "Harry and Logan Evans are transferring in from the United States," he explained. "It is most unusual for us to have transfer students, but as both were accepted upon birth and have been trained quite thoroughly in magic these past six years," he cast a sideways glance at Lily, who realized Dumbledore likely had a good idea that she had been training the pair since they had done their first magic, "we saw no reason not to allow the transfer. Especially," he added, "given that their mother," he bowed to Lily, "has mostly kindly consented to teach Charms while Professor Flitwick is on sabbatical."

Lupin glanced at her, raising his brows. "I didn't know you had kids," he whispered, leaning toward her.

Lily shrugged. "Like you said, we weren't exactly close, were we?"

Lupin nodded regretfully.

"While I know it is a bit abnormal," Dumbledore continued, "to sort this late, we believe that it is best to sort the Evans siblings as all other students have been sorted. Professor McGonagall," he waved for her continued.

Lily held her breath as Harry stepped up to be sorted. She was hoping furiously for Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw.

"Gryffindor," the hat shouted.

Lily sighed, smiling encouragingly at Harry, who went over to join his new house. She watched him sit down near a pair of redheaded twins and a black boy with dreadlocks. They seemed to welcome him without hesitation.

Lily watched as Logan placed the hat on her head. However much it went against her better judgment, Lily had to hope that Lo would be sorted into Gryffindor as well. They had always been so close. She didn't want to see that end.

"Ravenclaw," shouted the hat.

Lily saw Logan give Harry a shrug as she went over to join the Ravenclaws. She sat down among them, but Lily could sense her hesitation. She hoped both of her children would make friends quickly.

* * *

_Two weeks later_

Lily flicked her wand and the subject for the fourth year lesson appeared on the board. Whereas students would normally begin taking this down immediately, today they seemed too busy talking.

"Excuse me," Lily said in a soft voice, folding her hands and waiting silently for their attention. She was strongly opposed to yelling as a means of attracting it.

"Sorry, Professor Evans," Dean Thomas called out. "It's only that we're trying to guess who the guest teacher in Defense will be."

"Guest teacher in Defense?" Lily asked.

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, glancing over at Ronald Weasley, who decided he should speak up.

"I'm hoping for Black," Ron called out. "He's always a laugh."

"Sirius Black?" Lily clarified.

"Yeah," Dean responded. "Do you know him?"

Lily nodded her head. "We were just in the same year."

Lavender Brown gasped dramatically. "Were you friends?" she asked, her tone making it clear that she was hoping they had been more than friends.

Lily couldn't help laughing. "No. Gryffindors and Slytherins are not generally friends," she said.

There was a collective intake of breath from the assembled Gryffindors.

"But, you were a _Slytherin_?" Ron asked in a distinctly accusatory tone.

Lily couldn't stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Yes," she said, "and – gasp – I'm not actually a hideous human being," she added, earning a smile from Hermione Granger in the front row.

The rest of the class looked somewhat less forgiving.

"So," Lily asked calmly, "Professor Lupin is having a guest speaker?"

When no one spoke out, Hermione raised her hand.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?" Lily said.

"Well, sort of," Hermione explained. "Professor Lupin has a guest lecturer come in once a month right around the full moon. He says that since everything goes wrong at the full moon anyway, he might as well give his auror friends a chance at teaching."

Lily nodded, thanking her for answering, and tried not to panic. James had expressed an interest in becoming an auror. And he and Remus had always been friends. Please, oh, please let it be Black, she thought, for probably the first time in her life.


	17. The Black Haired Man

Harry walked into his Defense class. The Weasley twins' excitement was contagious. He glanced toward Professor Lupin's desk, and saw a black haired man leaning casually against it.

"Yes," exclaimed Lee Jordan, pumping his fist.

"Excellent," Fred and George said together.

Harry took his seat, leaning over toward Fred. "Who is it?"

"Black," Fred said, grinning. "He's fantastic."

George considered it. "They're all good," he said fairly. "But Black's definitely the funniest."

Fred and Lee both nodded.

Harry was going to ask about who the other substitutes were, but Black straightened up and spoke to the class.

"Everyone wait to unpack," he said, and Harry saw his friends exchange looks of excitement. "Remus tells me you're all quite good with his obstacle course." He grinned. "So, I've decided to make it a bit more difficult."

He gestured for them all to rise. "We're going to head down to the grounds," he continued. "I'll have you give it a go today. Tomorrow you'll have a chance to practice any points of difficulty. And the day after that I'll let you take another swing at it."

Fred nodded at Harry. "You see why we like him, now, yeah?" he said.

George grinned. "I'll give six to one odds that someone ends up in the hospital wing," he whispered.

The pair began circulating, taking bets. Harry shook his head. He'd give any odds that the twins would ensure they won that bet. All it would take was one little, mostly harmless, hex.

* * *

Harry sat down for dinner that night. He glanced up at the High Table, watching Black chat with his mum. She didn't seem very comfortable with him.

Harry was a bit concerned. He had really liked Black, but he'd also never had reason to doubt his mum's evaluation of people. And she didn't seem to think too highly of the guest professor.

Harry nodded at the twins.

"Hey, Harry," Fred said. "So, what'd you think of Black?"

Harry shrugged, no longer sure. "Dunno," he said.

"Don't know?" George exclaimed. "How can you not know? That was great. Especially the part where Bennett fell into the pit of flobberworms," he said, eyes unfocusing at the memory.

Fred laughed. "Could you imagine the odds we could have got on _that_ one?" he said. "No one would have bet anyone would end up in the hospital from an encounter with flobberworms."

Harry shook his head. "You two cleaned up pretty well from what I hear," he said. The pair just grinned at him.

Finishing his dinner quickly, he started to rise.

"Where's the fire?" Lee asked.

Harry shrugged. "I just want to go chat with Logan for a minute."

"What's the deal with her?" Fred asked.

Harry raised both eyebrows. "How do you mean?"

The three boys exchanged a looked. "Well," George began, carefully – which was completely out of character for any of the boys – selecting his words. "She seems a bit, I dunno . . . stuck up," he said, obviously giving up any thought of tact.

Harry glowered at them. "She's not stuck up," he said. "She's just," he shrugged, "not happy here. We lived in the same place all our lives. The people we were in high school with were the people we were in elementary school with, you know? I think she's just," he shrugged again, "uncomfortable here."

The twins gave identical skeptical looks. "Right," said Fred. "If you say so."

Harry said goodbye, obviously still irritated with them, and went over to catch up with Logan.

She was sitting at the Ravenclaw table, but she didn't seem to be speaking to anyone. Damn, Harry thought. She was just being reserved, but since she didn't come across as shy, it was obvious everyone was taking it as arrogance.

He slipped into the seat across from her. "Hey," he said, stealing a bit of her cobbler.

She batted at his hand. "You had your own."

He grinned. "But my desserts are never as good as yours. It's one of the great injustices of the world."

She rolled her eyes, but slid him the last of it.

"Thanks," he said, digging in. "So, what did you think of Black?"

She shrugged.

"Wow," he said sarcastically. "That was enlightening. They should get you to speak at conventions."

She smiled. "I'd be a favorite, I'm sure. More time for the dentists and computer geeks to drink themselves into a coma."

"Encouraging alcohol consumption, Lo," he said, shaking his head. "What would our mother say?"

"So long as you have your wand, you know where all the exits are, and you never let down your guard . . ." she said, in a perfect imitation of their mum's voice.

Harry laughed. Shaking his head, he finished off the cobbler. "Really, though. What did you think of him?"

She glanced up at the High Table. "Mum doesn't like him," she said simply.

Harry looked over as well. "Yeah. I was hoping I was misinterpreting that." He turned back to his sister. "I liked the lesson."

She shrugged. "No reason you shouldn't make up your mind about him yourself, but mum's opinion is enough for me," she said.

Harry nodded. "Maybe they just didn't get along in school," he said, considering. "I guess I'll give him a shot," he decided, looking at her to gauge whether she was irritated about it or not.

She looked fine. "Yeah," she said without any particular inflection. "She'd probably encourage you to judge people on their character, not other people's opinions of them."

He grinned. "Not gonna take your own advice though?"

"Nope," she said cheerfully, rising.

He walked with her until their ways diverged.

_I know, I know. Boos and hisses. I'm thinking four more chapters until Lily and James are once again in the same place. Tops. Lucky for you, I'll probably manage to post them all today. How are people taking Harry being in a different year than Ron and Hermione?  
_

_-Naj  
_


	18. 327

_Approximately two months later_

It was Harry's birthday. And while, literally speaking, it was not actually Logan's birthday, they had always celebrated them on the same day. It would have been very hard to explain how Lily had given birth to two separate children within a one month span.

He glanced over at the Ravenclaw table. Lo was opening her present. He knew how much she missed her dance classes, so he had gotten a friend of his back home to send him a poster of the full cast of Swan Lake. Then he'd painfully, and with much use of a borrowed penseive, reconstructed the ballet from his many – many – memories of being dragged along to see it.

He thought he'd done a fairly good job charming the ballerinas in the poster to dance all the right steps. He was curious to see how she would react.

He watched as she examined it. She smiled when they started dancing. He was surprised when she rolled it back up almost immediately. Grabbing a box that had been next to her, she started in his direction.

She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you," she said. "That must have taken you ages."

He shrugged. "It goes on for a while," he said.

She grinned at him. "Given that it's close to a two hour performance – without intermissions – I didn't think it would be fair to watch it all the way through right now."

He nodded. "That makes sense I suppose." He glanced meaningfully at the box in her hand. "What do you have there?" he asked.

"Oh, this?" she said waving the box around. "It's just something I picked up for Rake. I don't think he gets enough presents," she said, teasing.

He scowled at her until she gave in and handed him the box. On the top of it was a card. He opened the card first, knowing it would only add to his curiosity.

Inside, it said:

_327. That I know of._

_ Best of luck, and lots of love on your birthday._

_ Logan_

Unable to wait any longer, he ripped open the package. And found a pair of Vans high top shoes. He glanced up at her, baffled. Reading over the card again, he shrugged and pulled them on.

Nothing happened.

He looked at his sister again. She was definitely waiting for him to figure out the trick. She had that amused look that always meant she knew something he didn't.

He stared down at the shoes. They would probably make him dance or something, he thought. Immediately, the shoes started moving of their own volition. Harry tried not to fall over as his feet were pulled around through several dance moves, culminating in a strange and wobbly variation of the moon walk.

He could hear most of the Gryffindors laughing. He wished the shoes would just stay on the floor. Immediately they froze, as though glued in place. He gave Logan a dry look. She just continued grinning at him.

The card had said 327, he thought. Glancing speculatively at the wall, he told the shoes firmly – in his head of course – to act like normal shoes. When he felt them comply, he walked over to the wall. He put one sole flat against it, clearly envisioning what he wanted it to do. He felt it stick to the wall. Quickly, he lifted the other foot. Using every muscle in his core, he managed to keep himself flat, and walked up the wall.

Grinning, he envisioned the shoes releasing the wall, and tucked his body in, flipping around to land on his feet. The shoes must have cushioned it for him, because he didn't really feel the landing, despite the long drop.

He looked at Logan. "327?" he asked.

"That I know of," she said.

"Hmmm . . ." he pondered. "Don't suppose you'd give me the list?"

"Don't suppose I would," she returned, smiling sweetly.

He laughed. "Right," he said. "How'd you get around the statute about altering muggle objects?" he asked.

Logan shrugged. "Muggles can't use them. They respond to magic. If a muggle put them on, they'd just be regular shoes."

"Nice," he said. "Learned your lesson after Laz got a hold of that flashlight, eh?"

She gave a rueful laugh. "Yes. Yes I did. He still thinks I'm an evil genius, I think."

Thanking him once more for the poster, she headed off to class.

"Do you think," George began, staring at the shoes.

"She'd show us how to make those?" Fred finished, also eyeing the high tops.

"No," Harry responded simply. He sat down and quickly changed out of the shoes. He would experiment with them later. For now he needed to get to class, and he didn't want any accidental catastrophes on the way.


	19. Christmas Eve

_Christmas Eve_

James knocked on the door to Sirius and Marlene's flat. When it swung open, an enthusiastic three-year-old barreled directly into him.

James lifted Cordelia into his arms, giving her a quick kiss. Smiling at Marlene, who looked exasperated, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek as well.

"Sorry," Marlene said, inviting him in. "Sirius simply will not stop giving her candy," she huffed.

James laughed. Examining the baby in her arms, he shook his head. "I swear every time I see her, she's doubled in size," James said, shifting Cordelia so that he could shake her baby sister's hand.

"Not quite," responded Marlene, "but sometimes it does seem that we. Our Adara has herself _quite_ the appetite," she added.

"James, my boy," Sirius shouted, hanging out the kitchen door. "Remus and I were just sneaking a bit of food, if you'd like to join us."

"Out!" Marlene snapped, pointing in the opposite direction of the kitchen. "Dinner will be in no more than an hour. How you lot can't wait _one_ _hour_ is beyond me."

Sirius grinned cheekily at her, popping another piece of turkey in his mouth. "It's only that it's so very good, Mar," he said in a placating tone. "If you don't want us to nick it, you shouldn't cook it so well."

James shook his head, trying to warn his friend off. "Sirius, mate, don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

Sirius laughed. Walking out of the kitchen, he came over and kissed his wife soundly. "It could be worse, love, I could be the kind of prat that calls you a horse."

"I think James was pointing out that telling me that cooking badly is the only way to stop you picking at the food all evening is a very good way to get me to start sabotaging the meals," Marlene explained in a dry tone.

Sirius scrunched up his nose, shaking his head. "No," he said, considering it, "you've too much pride to go mucking up a good dish just to teach me a lesson."

Marlene gave him a dark look.

"Here," Sirius said, lifting Adara out of her arms. "I'll take the baby off your hands, and –incidentally – make it nearly impossible for me to cause any more trouble." He grinned at her when she looked mollified.

"Uncle James," Cordelia said, turning James' face with both her hands, effectively returning his attention to her.

"I'm sorry, love," James said, kissing her on the nose. "I was most unforgivably distracted by your parents."

Cordelia made a face that suggested she might not pardon him after all.

Deciding it was the best way to make amends with a three-year-old, James tipped her upside down. He spent the next several minutes spinning her around and hanging her by her heals. It was funny the things kids went in for, he thought.

When he was out of breath, James righted the small child and went to sit down. She, of course, still had energy to burn, so she jumped out of his lap and ran off to chase Marlene's cat.

James glanced up at Sirius, who was currently bouncing the baby on his knee.

"Thanks for inviting me," he said. "It's really a lovely way to spend Christmas."

Sirius grinned. "Please," he said. "You two are family," he added, including Remus in the look. "It's not a matter of 'inviting,' you both know you're always welcome."

Remus shook his head. "I'll tell you, Sirius, you don't know what you're in for."

Sirius gave him a look.

"No, I mean it. I've got this pair of twins in my classes, and they're both fantastic, but," he shook his head, "for the life of me I can't make heads nor tails of them."

James laughed. "They can't be worse than we were," he said.

Remus considered. "No, I don't suppose so, but I think we were pretty straightforward, you know?"

Sirius nodded. "We liked a bit of a laugh and a bit of trouble. Nothing confusing about that."

"That's it, exactly. See, these two I just can't understand. The girl, Logan, is very quiet, kind of reserved like." Remus explained.

"Little thing," Sirius asked, "black hair, very pretty, kind of stuck up?"

Remus cocked his head, thinking it over. "I don't know as I'd say she's stuck up, exactly. It's more that she doesn't seem to fit in. Harry's had a much easier time of that."

Sirius looked surprised. "Huh. I liked him. Quick, good sense of humor." He thought about it. "I would not have put them as siblings. Just figured it's a common surname."

Remus shrugged. "They were sorted into different houses. Anyway, about a month ago, Logan just up and clobbers another Ravenclaw, and then absolutely refuses to explain herself. All she'll say is that he deserved it."

Sirius shared a grin with James. "Maybe I judged her too soon. What sort of a hex did she hit him with?"

"That's just it," Remus said, shaking his head. "She didn't. She just," Remus mimed hauling back a fist, "let him have it." Sirius whistled in appreciation. "And she did quite a bit of damage before I managed to get my head on straight enough to drag her off him."

"Do you get many fights?" James asked.

Remus shook his head. "Not fist fights, no. Hexes in the corridors, absolutely, but physical violence is much less common," he answered. "Anyway, I gave Logan detention and told her she had to explain herself and apologize, but she won't," he says, exasperated.

James smiled. "You've got to appreciate a kid who stands her ground, though."

"Not when you're the person she's standing her ground against." Remus said. "And then Harry got involved, and now the whole thing is just completely out of control."

Sirius grinned. "What did Harry do?" he asked, clearly anticipating a good story.

"What hasn't he done, is more like it," Remus responded tiredly. "I told Logan she would have detention every night until she explains what happened and apologizes." He sighed. "In her favor, I do have to say she hasn't complained at all, and she's had detention every night for a solid month."

Sirius gestured for Remus to move the story along. "And Harry did what exactly?"

Remus scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Well, the best I can figure is that the second day he must have asked her what happened, because I saw them talking in the hall. Her class was starting and his was ending. Whatever she told him, Harry apparently decided she had been in the right, because he immediately called out to the kid she had beat up and hit him with a stinging hex."

Sirius and James both laughed.

"He won't say what's going on either. He just says that if Logan decked the idiot, he had it coming. And for every night Logan gets detention over it, Harry will hex the git as retribution." Remus rolled his eyes. "Which means I've had the pair of them in detention for a month now."

James and Sirius both laughed.

"What does Evans' say?" Sirius asked. James felt his adrenaline spike.

Remus shrugged. "Lily just wanted me to make the detentions useful, so they've sort of become my de facto assistants.

"Lily Evans?" James asked, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.

"Yeah," Remus responded. "Didn't I tell you? She's the interim Charms Professor while Flitwick is gone."

"Nah, you didn't mention it" James said in a casual tone. "I feel like I should take the next moon shift. It seems like I'm out of touch with the goings on at the old school."

Remus shot him a curious look, but Sirius just nodded and returned to the former topic.

"How did Evans react to her daughter punching someone out?" Sirius asked.

James swung his head around to stare at his friend, shocked. He sighed. It was too much to hope that she'd still be single. He immediately imagined some faceless husband who was helping her raise the pair of 11-year-olds. Still, he'd like to see her.

Remus shrugged. "Don't know. She doesn't do the whole mum thing publicly. Mostly she just lets them be normal students. They don't press their luck around her, though. She puts them back in line with a look."

Sirius smiled. "I've always admired mums who can manage that," he said, glancing toward the kitchen, where his daughter was currently helping his wife with dinner.

James tried hard not to think about how good a mum Lily would make. It seemed a bit like pouring salt in an open, if extremely old, wound.


	20. One Parent

_At long last . . . _

_

* * *

_

Lily always panicked when she knew the full moon was coming. She'd heard enough chatter by now to know that sometimes James Potter did substitute for his old friend. So far she had been lucky. Sirius Black had done it once, Mad Eye Moody had done it once, and Kingsley Shacklebolt had done it once.

She had lucked out with the holidays, missing a full moon entirely. But now it was January, and she was biting at her fingernails, trying to decide if she should have breakfast in the Great Hall or not. Finally concluding that she was being ridiculous, she patted Rake on the head and went down to join the other teachers.

She got as far as the door to the Great Hall before stopping in her tracks. That was definitely James Potter, chatting to Minerva McGonagall. Lily spun on her heel and headed back up to her quarters. She would just eat there over the next three days. With any luck, she wouldn't have to speak to him at all.

* * *

James was frustrated. He had gotten to the school in time for breakfast in the hopes of seeing her, but she never came. He wondered if she made a habit of taking meals in her quarters. It was uncommon, but not unheard of, for professors to do that.

He looked over his first year rolls with anticipation. This was his only chance to get a look at her kids. First through fourth years had double Defense Against the Dark Arts on Mondays and Fridays, while fifth through seventh years had single lessons on Tuesday and Thursday, with a double each Wednesday.

James hadn't found anyone with the surname Evans, but he assumed the kids had Lily's husband's name.

He was completely baffled when none of the students in any of his Monday classes matched Remus' description of Lily's kids. There was one third year that could have been hers, based on her red hair, but she was a Weasley, and her name wasn't Logan, so he was forced to cross her off his list. He was looking for first years, anyway. Remus had said they were new students this year.

Baffled after three meals and no sign of Lily, James decided to seek her out.

* * *

Lily looked up from grading papers in her office. She had heard a knock on the open door, and there, leaning against it, was none other than James Potter.

She sighed. It had been too much to hope for, not having to deal with him. "Alright?" she asked in a neutral voice.

James grinned. "Lily Evans," he said.

"James Potter," she responded, rolling her eyes.

He looked her up and down. Really, she thought, the nerve of him. "You look good," he decided. "Bet half the boys in school are mad over you."

She glowered at him, which only made him laugh and walk closer. No, no, no, she thought. She did not want him in her office. She rose, intending to make an excuse about needing to work and show him the door.

"I bet the other half are terrified," he said, stepping closer to her.

She saw him glance at her hand and note the absence of a ring. No, oh no. She would not permit that sort of thinking at all.

She walked around to the door, gesturing to it. "I have grading to do," she said in her least friendly voice.

He nodded, stepping closer. She tried to back up and realized she had nowhere to go. Why, oh, why had she gone to the side of the door with a filing cabinet next to it?

"How is it," he asked, placing his hands on either side of her hand and making her panic even more, "that you manage to look even better now than you did at seventeen?" he asked, voice dropping an octave.

She tried to respond, but he closed his mouth over hers and she lost all ability to think rationally. The hand she had raised to push him away curled into his shirt, pulling him closer. Jesus, she had forgotten how it felt to kiss him.

He slid his knee in between her legs and she arched against him, moaning into his mouth.

And then she heard a familiar voice from the door, that worked like a bucket of cold water.

"Mum?" Logan said, shocked.

* * *

James' head swung around and he jumped back a full two feet. He blinked at the girl in front of him. She was definitely not eleven. She had to be closer to sixteen or seventeen.

He stared at her tousled black hair. He turned back toward Lily. "Mum?" he said, voice several octaves higher than normal.

Lily looked ready to bolt out the window. He watched her take a deep breath.

"Logan," she said gently, "would you mind giving me a few minutes to speak with Mr. Potter."

James saw Logan raise an eyebrow at her mother's use of his surname, but she nodded and backed out of the room. He turned back to Lily. "Mum?" he said again, sounding less shocked and more angry.

"Listen," Lily began, "I know what you're thinking."

"Do you?" he responded. "In case you don't, I can tell you I'm thinking she's just about the right age to be mine."

Lily shook her head quickly. "She's not," she said.

He stared at her, disbelieving. "Really? Somehow I don't buy that you were shagging anyone else seventh year. It's not your style."

"No," Lily responded immediately. "It's more yours, isn't it?"

James was speechless. "Are you serious?" he said. "I fuck up once when I'm seventeen and you don't tell me I have CHILDREN?" he shouted.

Lily shook her head again. "She's not yours," she repeated.

"No?" he said. "Whose is she? When's her birthday? We're both clever enough to do the math. How could you not tell me I have kids?" James yelled.

Lily opened and closed her mouth. "I did what I thought was best."

"What you thought was best?" he shouted. "And I don't get any say in it at all?"

"You had your say, James," she said quietly. The louder he got, the quieter she seemed to. "If I recall correctly, you felt I wasn't the sort of girl you'd bring home to your mum. You'll forgive me," she continued when he could only stare at her, "if I assumed you'd apply the same logic to my child."

He shook his head. "I don't think I will. I was an idiot at seventeen. I'll admit that," he said, clearly still furious. "I was a bastard to you. But a lot of people are idiots at seventeen. It doesn't mean you take their children away from them."

She shook her head. "I didn't take them away from you, James. You never had them."

"That's my point," he said, "isn't it? I never got the chance. I didn't get the see their first steps or hear their first words or bloody _know_ about them at all," he said, blinking back tears. "Merlin, Lily. My kids are seventeen and I've never even met them. Tell me how that's fair."

Lily sighed. "I'm not saying it is. But I was seventeen too, James. And you have to understand that the day I found out I was pregnant, I went up to the school ready to tell you, and I found you with . . ." She trailed off, and he closed his eyes.

"Marlene," he said.

She nodded. "And then I thought, well, he still deserves a chance. So I waited to talk to you about it." She shrugged, obviously assuming she didn't have to explain any further.

"And I said you weren't the sort of girl I'd take home to my mum," he supplied in a dead voice.

She looked away. "Yeah. So I did what I thought was best for my baby."

"But, I was better," he said, "toward the end of the year. I stopped all the crap I used to pull." He was really struggling to keep from crying now. "I'm better now," he said desperately. "You'll give me a chance now, right?" he begged. "A chance to be their dad?"

She opened to speak, but closed it again without saying anything. Tucking a stray bit of hair behind her ear, she sighed. "I suppose that'll be up to them. I won't make them spend time with you if they don't want to. But I won't interfere if they do."

He nodded, knowing it was the best he could hope for at the moment.

* * *

Logan heard the break in conversation and thought she'd best make herself scarce. She knew she wasn't supposed to eavesdrop, and that her mum would be furious, but she was glad she had. She'd rather know what he was really like.

She made up her mind not to tell Harry, however. He'd be crushed if he knew his dad had treated their mum so badly. James Potter was one parent Logan definitely didn't mind not sharing with her brother.

* * *

_Did it live up to your expectations? _

_-Naj  
_


	21. A Chance?

Harry sat down to breakfast with Lee and the twins. All the talk was about Potter. Apparently he and Black were great friends and worked together as aurors. Fred had been telling stories about the trouble they got up to at school.

"Really," Fred was saying, "just know that when professors say you won't amount to anything if you mess around too much in school, they are completely full of shite. Because Potter got up to more trouble than anyone, and he's a respected auror now."

Harry laughed. "I like the midnight quidditch idea. I'm not sure how the strip part works, but," he stopped short, seeing his mum approach.

"Hey, Ms. Evans," George said, speaking in an unusually deep voice. Harry shot him a glare. It was bad enough that Fred was always going on about Logan being fit. Harry did not need George looking at his mum that way.

"Harry," she said, combing a hand through his messy hair. Harry was immediately concerned. She had tried to avoid overt displays of affection in front of the other students, because she didn't want it to be weird that their teacher was also their mum.

Harry glanced over at Logan, checking to see if she was alright. She was watching them with a worried look on her face. But the sort she was obviously trying to hide. He wondered if something had happened to Eric, or one of his friends back home.

"Would you mind having a word with me?" she asked. She glanced around the table. "You don't mind if I borrow him for a minute, do you?"

George frantically shook his head no. Harry couldn't work up the energy to scowl at him. He nodded quickly and grabbed his bag.

Lily looked over at Logan and motioned for her to join them. The three walked out of the Great Hall and up to Lily's quarters.

When they opened the door, Rake bounded over, his entire body wagging. He licked Harry enthusiastically before moving on to Logan.

At Lily's command, the dog settled – quivering just a bit with excitement – at their feet. They all took seats at the little kitchen table.

"What is it?" Harry asked, needing to get the worst over with.

Lily took a deep breath. "Do you remember how I always said I would answer any questions you had about your father?"

Harry nodded, baffled. "Yeah. When I asked why we didn't have one, you just said he wasn't someone you wanted in our life." He shrugged. "That's enough for me. I don't need to know anything else."

Lily sighed. "Well, I told him that I would leave it up to you, whether you wanted to spend any time with him. That I wouldn't force you to, but that I also wouldn't discourage you from it."

"Told who?" Harry asked, looking at Logan to see if she was as lost as him. As far as he knew, his mum hadn't spoken to his dad since before he was born, so she thought it must have been someone else she referred to. Maybe Dumbledore?

"Your father," his mum responded. "James Potter."

Harry blinked at her. "I'm sorry?" he said.

"He's here, obviously, and has realized that the timing fits for you to be his." She smoothed out the lines on her forehead with her hand. "He wants a chance to get to know you." She glanced at Logan. "Both of you, actually."

Logan looked taken aback. "He's not my dad," she said immediately. Harry thought she sounded offended. "What does he want with me?"

Lily leaned over to brush Logan's hair back from her face. "Everyone thinks you're twins, love. There's no way for him to know you aren't his, but Harry is."

Logan shook her head. "Harry can make up his own mind, but I'm not interested in having anything to do with him."

Lily looked back at Harry. "And you, Harry?"

He shrugged, unsure. He'd had a vague assumption that his dad was some sort of criminal or monster or . . . bore. "You said he realized the timing fits. Does that mean he didn't know before now?"

She shook her head. "No, he didn't know. I didn't tell him before I left," she responded in a calm voice.

Harry furrowed his brow. "Why not?" he asked. "I know you always said he wasn't someone you wanted in our lives, but it sounds like he's an alright bloke," Harry said, somewhat apologetically. "Fred and George practically idolize him. And he's an auror. That's about as honorable as it gets."

Logan sniffed at that, and Harry shot her a confused look. "Am I missing something?" he asked.

Lily shook her head. "You might be right, love. You have to understand that the last time I saw James Potter, we were both in school. A lot can change in seventeen years, Harry."

He thought it over. "Ok. Well, I guess, if that's the case, I'd like to speak with him."

Lily nodded. "I'll see if I can arrange for you two to have dinner in Hogsmeade tomorrow, then."

Harry simply nodded. He wasn't entirely sure about this whole thing, but he thought he had made the right choice. There was no reason not to give him a chance, after all.

* * *

James had watched them leave the Great Hall during breakfast. He thought about waiting to see if they came back. He wanted to see their reactions. Then again, he thought, maybe he didn't.

He ended up going early to his classroom. It would be an easy place for Lily to track him down if she wanted to tell him the verdict before class. He really hoped she would. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to teach a productive lesson if he was worrying about all this.

Then again, he wouldn't really be better able to focus if he was nervous about dinner – or gutted that they wanted nothing to do with him. He took a deep breath. Well, he thought, nothing for it but to wait and hope, at this point.

He wandered over to Remus' books, deciding he might want to rethink his lesson plan for the day. He had intended to do something practical, but in this state of mind he wasn't sure that it would be entirely safe. Perhaps he should just assign a bit of reading. He scanned over the titles, looking for a likely option.

He heard the door open and spun around to face her. Merlin, he thought. Even when he was furious with her she still had an effect on him. She managed to look just the right combination of unsure and defiant to make him want to soothe her instead of shout.

Of course, she was here to tell him whether or not his children wanted anything to do with him, so there were bigger things to worry about.

When she didn't speak immediately, he got impatient. "Did you talk with them?"

She nodded. "Harry said he's interested in having dinner with you tonight," she said in an emotionless voice.

"And Logan?" James asked, thinking he already knew the answer. It had never occurred to him they would make different choices.

Lily shook her head. "Logan said she would prefer not to . . ." she shrugged somewhat apologetically, "not to have a relationship with you."

James closed his eyes. In anything else, he'd tell himself one for two wasn't bad. But when it meant one of his children wanted nothing to do with him, he just couldn't believe it.

* * *

Lily watched him react. She felt guilty. Not for having left without telling him about Harry, but for letting him think Logan was his daughter. Logan was more likely to write someone off, based on the strength of Lily or Harry's bad opinion. She was unstintingly loyal.

But she also had no real motivation for getting to know James. She knew perfectly well he wasn't her father, so why would she compromise her faith in Lily over a quick dinner with him? She simply wouldn't.

When she'd asked Dumbledore for permission for Harry to go to Hogsmeade tonight, he had strongly encouraged Lily to tell James about Logan. But Lily simply wasn't willing to trust the safety of her children to anyone but herself or Dumbledore. Her old professor had sworn his absolute confidence that James would never do anything that could hurt the children, but Dumbledore had put his faith in the wrong people before. They both knew she and her children would be dead if she had accepted the protection of the Order of the Phoenix when it was first offered.

Lily sighed. Just because she would make the same decision again didn't mean she couldn't regret the necessity of it. He looked so sad. She was sure he wouldn't feel that way if he'd known that Logan had no blood relation to him, but there was nothing Lily could do about it. Nothing she would be willing to do about it, at any rate.

"Dumbledore said you can take him down to Hogsmeade for dinner. He just asks that you escort Harry back to his common room when you return, so it's clear he had permission to be out," she explained.

James nodded, opening his eyes. She thought he would look normal when he did. Instead he looked unbearably sad.

"Do you think she'll come around?" he asked.

Lily opened her mouth to say no, but couldn't bring herself to crush him completely. "It's hard to say with Logan. She can be unpredictable."

He looked a little more hopeful.

"For now," Lily added quickly, praying she hadn't made things worse, "I would suggest focusing on Harry. He's decided to try to have an open mind about you."

James nodded. "Thanks," he said. At her surprised look, he went on. "For talking to them. You could have just told me to bugger off."

"No," she shook her head. "They deserved to know that you were interested in getting to know them, now that you are aware they exist. It was always going to be their decision to make, in the end."

"Right," he said tonelessly.

"For what it's worth, James. I am sorry. I never intended for this to hurt you," she said.

She gathered from his stare that it was a fairly empty statement. Obviously it had hurt him. And she didn't think he would prefer having never found out, which had been her true intent.

She said goodbye and left him to prepare for his classes.

* * *

_Thanks everyone for the reviews. Sorry it took longer to update than intended. It's been much harder to write lately. I'm not sure if it's writer's block or just that this section of the story is difficult to navigate. Anyway, hope it wasn't complete crap._

_-Naj  
_


	22. Squelchy

All of the sixth year Gryffindors were elated to have Potter as their teacher. Harry found it hard to get into the spirit, however. His stomach was very . . . _squelchy_. He wasn't entirely sure what the term meant, but it seemed to suit the feeling he was having.

He wanted to see him, but was more than a little terrified of what he would find. Obviously his mum wasn't his dad's biggest fan. If this wasn't obvious from the fact that he'd never met the man, it was clear from Logan's immediate dislike. She wouldn't like Harry's father anymore than she had liked Black. If their mum disliked or distrusted someone, Logan did the same on the strength of her recommendation – or lack thereof.

But his mum hadn't really dealt with his dad in more than sixteen years. That was a long time. People could change a lot in a few years, let alone in a decade and a half. So he wasn't going to write him off without giving him a chance. Still, he wasn't going to be naïve about the matter either.

Grandpa Jack had a saying: 'A man that can shake your hand and look you in the eyes is a man you can trust. But don't be surprised if he turns out to be a right bastard anyway.'

Harry smiled at the memory. Grandpa Jack had always been an interesting combination of trusting and practical.

Harry stopped outside the door of the Defense classroom, staring at it. The squelchy feeling that had been momentarily banished by Grandpa Jack's voice in his head returned full force.

Fred stopped walking as well, glancing back at him. "Listen, mate, we know you're excited about meeting Potter," he said.

"Like to wet himself," George added, making Lee laugh.

"But he's not Victor Krum," Fred continued.

George nodded. "Or Helen of Troy," he sniggered.

Harry shook his head. He hadn't mentioned anything about his conversation this morning. He wanted to decide how he felt about the whole thing before he went telling people. He just shrugged.

"You lot have talked him up enough," he said, "I'm beginning to wonder if you have him confused with Superman."

"Mate," George said, giving him a look. "When have you ever heard us-"

"Refer to any man as 'super'?" Fred finished for him.

Harry laughed. "Not a 'super man.' _Superman_." He shook his head. "He's a muggle superhero." He waved vaguely at the roof. "He can fly, and bend steel, and," Harry shrugged, "I dunno, do other things."

"Right," Fred and George said together, sharing a look that clearly showed they thought Harry had lost his mind.

Harry decided to let them think what they would. He had bigger things to worry about. Taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and headed into the classroom.

It looked like it always did, except sitting casually on Lupin's desk was a tall, slender man with messy black hair that looked a great deal like Harry's. In fact, come to that, it was a bit like Harry was looking into a mirror that aged him a few decades.

His dad stared at him as he entered the room. "Hi," he said. He looked like he was going to jump down of the desk, but when Fred and George cheerfully hollered their hellos, he seemed to think better of it.

He smiled at Harry, who managed to nod back and take his seat without actually vomiting. He wished he could have met him for the first time when they weren't in a room full of other students.

"Right, well," his dad – Potter, he mentally corrected himself, deciding he was better of thinking of him neutrally until he made up his mind – was saying. "Everyone take your seats. We're going to work on the Patronus Charm today."

"Excellent," the Weasley twins responded immediately.

Potter smiled at them. "Don't get too excited yet. Today we aren't even likely to attempt it until the end of class. We're going to start with what might seem like a childish project."

The twins grinned. Clearly they were envisioning the high jinks they could pursue if given a steady supply of paste.

"Before I explain it however, I wonder if anyone can tell me what the Patronus Charm is," Potter said, glancing at Harry as though expecting him to volunteer.

Harry kept his mouth firmly closed – easier to keep the vomit in that way – and was relieved when Lee answered.

"It's the only defense against dementors," Lee explained.

Potter nodded. "True," he said. "Five points to Gryffindor. Now, can anyone tell me what form it takes?"

"Well that's a bit of a trick question, isn't it?" Fred commented.

George nodded. "As it changes depending on the caster."

"Exactly right, lads," Potter said, smiling. "Ten points to Gryffindor." He stood up and lifted his wand. "To cast the spell, you say the words '_Expecto Patronum'_ and swish your wand like this," he demonstrated.

"Now," Potter continued. "Everyone try it together," he commanded, and the class attempted to cast the spell. Harry assumed he was not supposed to succeed, so he made sure to think unhappy thoughts. When the entire class failed to produce even a wispy substance, Potter grinned at them.

"Ah. I did forget to mention the most important part of this particular spell," he said. And then he simply waited.

"What's that?" Lee Jordan asked.

Potter had clearly been waiting for someone to speak up. "A happy memory," he said. "And the better the memory and the clearer the details, the stronger your patronus will be. To that effect," he continued, "We will be doing a few exercises today to help us sharpen our recollections and focus our thoughts."

Fred and George rubbed their hands together. Harry had the impression they were waiting for something exciting to happen, but he thought they would be disappointed. This didn't sound like much of a practical lesson.

"Some of you," Potter said, glancing at the twins, "will probably be disappointed in the nature of our activities today, but they are the best ways to become successful at producing a corporeal patronus."

He began passing out supplies. "To begin with," he said, "I would like you all to close your eyes and think about your happiest memory."

Harry saw most of the students in the class comply. Those that did not close their eyey immediately did so when they saw the other students do it.

"Focus on the details of it," Potter continued, "the smells, the sounds, the sights, the feel, and even the taste. Try to remember every aspect of it."

Harry wondered what memory his dad would have chosen. He wondered if it would have to do with his mum, but immediately squashed the thought.

"Now," Potter was saying, "when you've chosen a memory and teased out all the details you can, I would like you to do two things. The first is to use the supplies I've given you to draw or paint it. The second is to write a thorough description of the memory, one that incorporates whatever visual representation you made, but also adds the details you've pulled out using your other senses."

Harry opened his eyes to see the Weasley twins staring open-mouthed at his father.

"You want us to draw a picture?" George said.

"The way a five-year-old would?" Fred added in a shocked voice.

Potter nodded. "Yes I want you to draw a picture. Of course, if you can already produce a corporeal patronus and have no need of further study, you may be exempted from the assignment." He glanced around the room. "Would anybody like to demonstrate their skill?"

Harry thought his mum would prefer he not flaunt the skills she had taught him. And anyway, he didn't mind drawing. He had always taken art in school. In fact, he found he missed it. There was something to be said for a class where you could scribble aimlessly on a piece of paper, present it excitedly to the teacher, and receive extra credit and a great deal of praise for artistic choices you hadn't known you'd made.

He grabbed a pencil, transfigured it into a proper one, and began sketching. He watched out of the corner of his eye as his dad wandered among the students.

"Oi!" Fred said. "How come you're so good at drawing?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm not, particularly."

Fred looked pointedly between his stick figure and Harry's rapidly filling in landscape. For good measure, he leaned over and compared Lee and George's drawings, which resembled his and looked ridiculous next to Harry's.

Harry laughed. "I mean in terms of artists. I don't have a lot of natural talent, but I've taken enough classes to know the basics."

George's eyes widened. "Your mum enrolled you in art classes?" he said in a scandalized voice.

Fred and Lee both sniggered at the image.

"Nah," Harry laughed. "They offer them in school as an elective."

"Well," Fred said, casting a quick glance at Potter, "nothing against Potter, but I'm shocked there's a wizard school in the world that considers art a proper subject."

Harry shook his head. "Not a wizard school. Lo and I always went to muggle schools. Our mum taught us magic at home," he explained.

"Why would you need to go to muggle school at all?" George asked, clearly baffled at the concept.

Harry thought about it. "Dunno. I guess she wanted us to be able to get to know other kids. Be social, you know? Plus you learn a lot of useful stuff." He paused, reconsidering. "Well, Lo does anyway. She says science is what helps her so much with sorting out new spells and enhancing her stuff. She's pretty keen on physics and chemistry and all that. Says you have to know the principals to work spells right, if they relate at all. And most do." Harry grinned. "Me, I mostly liked playing sports."

He continued sketching, tracking his dad as he continued circulating. He hadn't come close enough to speak to them, but Harry had the feeling Potter was definitely listening. Harry sketched in a long line of fence, and then drew in four figures. And old man, pointing out problem areas along the fence line. A young woman listening to the man and keeping track of a pair of seven-year-olds. One of the children, a little boy, had messy black hair and round glasses. The other one, a little girl, had black hair that hung in curls down past her shoulders.


	23. Perspective

James made a point of looking over some other students' drawings before moving on to Harry. He'd been shamelessly eavesdropping on his son's – _his_ _son's_ – conversation throughout the class. James found he was quite pleased with Harry being a Gryffindor. He seemed to be fitting in very well. He actually reminded James a lot of himself when he was Harry's age. Harry was confident, seemed to have a good sense of humor, and was clearly talented.

James realized he had no evidence whatsoever about his son's skill as a wizard. He just assumed he would be good at magic. There was no way any child of Lily's would be less than top of his class.

He moved closer. "And what's your memory then, Fred?" he asked.

The redhead grinned ruefully at a truly awful drawing that appeared to portray several wizards on broomsticks. James inferred this almost entirely from the fact that the stick figures were placed directly on top of some liney bits that were hovering quite a ways above what James assumed was grass.

"Quidditch at the Burrow," he shrugged.

George nodded. James glanced over and saw the mirror image of Fred's picture on George's paper. Apparently a lack of artistic talent was another identical attribute they shared.

"Good," said James. After all, the goal wasn't for them to excel at art; it was for them to clarify their memories as much as possible. "What did it smell like?"

George thought it through. "Grass, I suppose."

"Bit like chicken dung," Fred added. George nodded his agreement while Lee sniggered.

"And the weather? Was it warm? Cold? Rainy? Sunny?" James asked. When they gave him blank looks, he shook his head, smiling. "You need to be specific, or it won't work. This is a spell even aurors have trouble with. I know you think this is childish, but it's how they way were taught in auror training." He paused. "Of course, if you think you're beyond the skill of your average auror."

Fred and George grinned, nodding confidently, but they did turn back to their pictures with a renewed focus.

James looked at Harry's drawing. It was fantastic. He had a real talent.

"And your memory, Harry?" James asked, extraordinarily conscious that this was their first conversation.

Harry glanced down at the sketch. He shrugged. "Walking the fence with my mum and sister and Grandpa Jack," he said quietly.

James nodded, looking down at it. He wondered who Jack was. He definitely wasn't Lily's dad. Or his own father. "Did you all go for walks regularly?" he asked, hungry for any details of his children's lives.

Harry smiled slightly. "It was a farm. He had cattle over on part of the property, and you have to walk the fence – or, well, ride the fence more like, but that came later – to check for any spots that need fixing." He glanced down at the drawing. "This was the first time he taught us how to fix it. We'd been along before, but he'd never shown us how to do the work."

"You guys were close?" James asked.

Harry looked surprised. "Course. He was as close as we got to a –"

Even though he had stopped short of saying it, James was aware he was about to say 'father.' He looked back at the picture. So this was the man that had stood in for him.

"How come Harry doesn't have to tell you how it smelled?" George asked, irritably.

James glanced over and saw that he had tried to add details to his drawing, but now it was all simply muddled.

Harry grinned over at his friend. "Like grass and dung, of course," he said. He shrugged. "And fresh rain. And tobacco. Grandpa Jack always smelled like tobacco." He thought it over. "I remember Lo and I together weren't strong enough to string the wire, but neither my mum nor Grandpa Jack seemed to mind helping." He cocked his head. "It was early fall, so the leaves were turning, and the wind was picking up. I guess that was the main sound, other than our voices. We could feel the dew still on the grass, even though it was late morning. It's how we gauged the turning of the seasons." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Didn't taste like much of anything, but we got to eat chili when we went in." He rolled his eyes up toward the sky. "Mum could never get it quite right after he died," Harry said, with the easy reference of a long accepted loss. "Grandpa Jack made the best chili."

James knew he was just staring at him, but he couldn't seem to help himself. It was a very bittersweet feeling. Somehow it was good to know he's son's childhood had been pleasant, but painful to realize all that he'd missed out on.

"Mate," Fred said bracingly. "At this point even Potter thinks you're an over achiever."

George nodded his agreement. "After that speech, it's hard to blame him, yeah?"

James clenched his teeth. It was ridiculous to be this irritated over a joke Harry wasn't even bothered by, but for some reason he was.

"Actually, I was thinking he'll probably have an easier time casting the charm, with the details he has remembered," James said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Harry glanced at him, but looked back at the other boys. "What can I say?" he said, tapping on his forehead. "Mind like a steel trap."

The twins snorted , and James decided perhaps it was time for him to return to the other students. He needed to learn to keep a better perspective about these things.

* * *

Once everyone had drawn a picture and written a sufficiently detailed description of their memory, Potter let them try casting their patronuses again.

Harry saw his father glance in his direction. He didn't want to let him down, so he focused on his memory and cast the spell with everyone else.

A stag immediately shot out of his wand, galloping around the room. He couldn't resist shooting his dad a quick look, and was pleased to see him smiling proudly. Harry didn't think he should mention he'd been able to do the spell for several years. Just because his mum was paranoid didn't mean his dad hadn't taught it well.

Harry looked around the room and saw that several other students had successfully cast a corporeal patronus. He thought all of them had at least produced vapor. It was really quite an achievement on the first real try.

As class ended, he packed up his gear, nodded at his dad, and headed out into the hall. He saw Logan walking toward him.

"Hey," he said, catching her arm and pulling her off to the side.

"Hi?" she said, looking at him like he'd gone mad.

He glanced over and saw his friends waiting impatiently. Well, Fred didn't seem to mind, but Fred had an unfortunate tendency of staring at Logan whenever she was nearby.

"Listen," he said, lowering his voice. "Be nice, ok?"

"Be nice?" she repeated in a scathing voice. "How you want to deal with him is your business," she hissed. "He's your father."

He made shushing noises.

"But he hasn't got anything to do with me and I don't want anything to do with him," she continued, ignoring him.

"Fine," he said. "If you can't be nice, at least don't be mean."

She glared at him.

"Come on, Lo," he wheedled. "It's not so much to ask. Think of it as doing me a favor, not him."

She shrugged. "Whatever."

He figured that was really the best he could hope for.

* * *

James watching them talk in the hall. He wished he could have heard their conversation. He had to wonder if Harry was reporting on the class, and if so, whether it was a positive one.

He watched his daughter stride into the room. She took a seat in the back and immediately pulled out her books. He smiled slightly to himself. It made perfect sense to him that she would be studious, just like her mother.

He went over the same points he had in his first class. When, again, he got a negative reaction to the assignment, he made the same offer as before.

"If anyone can produce a corporeal patronus right now," he said. "They are excused from the lesson."

He saw Logan raise her hand. "So anyone that casts the spell can just leave?" she asked.

He nodded. "The lesson is about patronuses. If anyone has already mastered them, it would be-" he stopped as she raised her wand.

"Expecto Patronum," she said, and a cougar shot out of her wand to prowl around the classroom.

She shoved her books back in the bag and headed for the door before he had a chance to respond.

Well, he thought, at least it had seemed to go well enough with Harry.


	24. Sweaty Hands

James met Harry at the entrance of the school. He wasn't sure if he should try to sound excited, or serious, or friendly, or what.

"Hey," he said. He was fairly sure it came out sounding terrified. He wondered how many fathers found they had sweaty palms from nerves about eating dinner with one of their children.

Harry nodded. "Hi," he said.

James offered him a broom. "It seemed like a better idea than having us walk down at night. Do you know how to fly one?"

Harry gave him a look that told James he was not off to a good start. They both mounted up and took off.

James was pleased to see his son knew how to handle himself on a broom. He wished he'd had the sense to ask Remus whether either of them played quidditch. Of course, when his friend told them about Harry and Logan, James had been under the impression they were a pair of first years with no relation to him.

They flew quickly down to Hogsmeade and landed just outside the Three Broomsticks. James gathered up both brooms and led Harry inside. He placed the brooms behind the counter before heading over to a table.

"So," he began. "You seemed like you knew how to handle a broom pretty well. Do you play quidditch at all?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah," he said. "It's one nice thing about coming here. We can play proper quidditch."

James smiled. "Does Logan play too then?" He liked the idea of both his children sharing an interest with him.

"Yeah," Harry said. "We both play seeker. Comes from really only being able to throw an apple into the air and try to catch it as it falls, you know? We didn't come from a wizarding area, so no real quidditch. Figure it was only luck that had mum let us use brooms at all."

James raised his eyebrows. "I know Lily was never keen on the sport, but I'd be shocked if she denied you the chance to play at all."

"Nah," Harry said, shaking his head. "It's not like that. It's just we lived around muggles, and broomsticks are a good way to draw unfortunate attention to yourself, you know?"

Madam Rosmerta approached. She greeted them both warmly and took their orders, hurrying off to fill them.

"So you two didn't go to a wizarding school in America?" he asked.

"Nope," Harry responded. "Muggle schools all the way."

James smiled. Harry didn't seem at all bothered by the idea he might have missed out. "Your mum must be a very good teacher, for you both to already know how to produce a fully fledged partronus."

Harry looked surprised. "Well," he said, "it was a good lesson."

"Somehow I doubt you needed the practice," James laughed. "You're sister took the out. She cast one at the start of class and went off to work on other subjects."

Harry looked a bit sheepish. "I wasn't trying to lie," he said. "I just don't like showing off. Not that Lo does," he added hurriedly. "She just doesn't like to waste time on things she already knows."

"I can respect that," James nodded.

Madam Rosmerta returned with their orders, and James thanked her warmly.

"So," Harry said, picking up his fork. "What's it like being an auror?"

James smiled. "Well," he said, "there's a lot more paperwork than you might expect."

Harry laughed. "I believe it. At the end of every cop show they always have to file reports and whatnot."

James furrowed his eyebrows, seriously confused. "Cop shows?"

"It's a muggle thing. Like a form of entertainment," he shrugged. "Anyway, have you caught any dark wizards?"

James nodded. "Yeah, but that has its downsides too. You don't usually even start looking for the bastards until they've done a lot of damage. And then it takes a while to stop them once you've begun to go after them. So you end up with a lot of memories to keep you up at night."

"So pretty much you're telling me being an auror is a crap job," Harry summed up.

James laughed. "Not at all. You do a lot of good, too. And someone has to do it, yeah? I'd rather it be the best of us than the worst, you know?" His eyes went wide at the droll look his son tossed him. "Not that I think I'm the best. Just that I would never discourage anyone's interest, because the more people they have to choose from, the better the next group of aurors will be."

Harry nodded. "That makes sense."

"Are you thinking of going in that direction?" James asked between bites.

Harry shrugged. "Maybe. It's sounds pretty cool." He grinned ruefully. "Not the part about the paperwork, but trying to stop bad people from doing bad things." He took a bite, obviously thinking it over while he chewed. "Muggles do enough damage without magic. With it . . ." he trailed off. "When you've got the unforgivable curses out there, it seems like an auror is about the most important thing you can be."

James smiled before taking a drink of his butterbeer. "I agree with you about how important it is, but there are lots of other significant careers out there. There are a lot of aurors – a lot of people, really – who would be dead without good healers. There are potions masters who come up with life saving and life altering potions, like the wolfsbane." He cut another piece of his steak. "There's just a lot to think about, and you've still got plenty of time to decide," he said.

Harry nodded. "So, did you ever get married or anything?" he asked tentatively.

"No," James shook his head. "Not that I wouldn't like to," he added. "My best mate's married, and it really agrees with him. I'm a little jealous sometimes, to be honest." He shrugged. "But I guess it has to be the right girl."

Harry stopped with his fork on the way to his mouth. "How come my mum wasn't?" he asked, sounding defensive.

James realized his mistake immediately. He shook his head. "Maybe she was," he said quietly, "but I was seventeen and stupid, so I doubt I'll ever know."

Harry looked at him for a long time before finally taking his bite. When he finished, he pushed his plate back. "There had to have been other girls though," he said.

James shrugged. "None I could see spending the rest of my life with," he said simply. He was relieved when Harry nodded. "What about you?" James asked, knowing it was probably a bad idea.

"I'm sixteen, and not so stupid," Harry laughed. "I've got ages to find the right girl for me."

James smiled at him. "Just so long as you don't let the good ones get away, I can approve of that attitude," he said.

They both finished off their drinks, waved goodbye to Madam Rosmerta, and headed for the door, brooms in hand.

All in all, he thought the whole thing had gone much better than he had any right to expect.


	25. Hope

_A month later_

Logan was irritated. Somehow it was Potter back again this month. She was sure he had arranged it specifically to see them. Or Harry, more like.

Lily seemed to tolerate his presence remarkably well. She mostly ignored it, and Logan was relieved not to have walked in on them making out again. That was a much too disturbing experience to repeat ever again.

At the moment, Logan was coming back from detention with McGonagall. Apparently, enlarging people's heads was not an appropriate response to being asked out, in the Transfiguration teacher's opinion. Logan was fairly sure the Weasley, whichever one it had been, would return to normal with a little help from Madam Pomfrey.

She glanced over when the door to the Defense classroom opened.

"Logan," Potter said, poking his head out the door. "Could you come in here for a minute?"

She glared at him, hoping he'd get the hint. Of course, why would he oblige her in something like that?

"I just want to have a short conversation with you. Then I promise I won't try again," he said.

She sighed, slouching over to him. He had better keep his word about this.

"Right," he said, wiping his hands on his robes. "Thanks for agree –"

"Can you get on with it please?" she snapped. "You said quick, and if you waste your time on pleasantries I don't care about, you'll never get to your point."

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, scrubbing his hands through his hair. "I'd just like to ask you to give me a chance."

"No," she said, shrugging and turning to leave.

"Will you tell me why you're so determined to hate me?" he asked. If he hadn't been a dick to her mum, she might have felt bad about how upset he looked.

"I heard you guys talking," she said. "That first night. I know you told her she wasn't good enough for you."

He closed his eyes. "Listen, Logan," he said, but she cut in before he could continue.

"There's nothing you can say," she said. She could feel tears shining in her eyes. "My mum is absolutely the best person on the planet. Do you have any idea what all she's done for me? For Harry? What she's given up to keep us safe? And somehow you think she isn't _good_ _enough_ for you. There isn't anyone on the planet better than her, but _certainly_ not you."

James nodded. "I'd agree with that," he said.

She looked up, surprised, but didn't say anything.

"I won't pretend I know her, or know what she's done over the past seventeen years, but I never doubted she was better than me," he said.

Logan stared at him. "Then why would you treat her like that?"

"In fairness," James said. "I don't think I told her she wasn't good enough for me. I believe I said she wasn't the sort of girl I'd bring home to my mum."

"Well that's much better," Logan snapped, turning to leave.

"It is actually. It had more to do with our relationship than her," he said. "We weren't exactly dating, and I don't think mostly people would bring a girl they've been shagging home to meet their family."

Logan turned slowly around and glared at him. "So she was good enough to fuck, but not good enough to date."

James shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that. It wasn't a matter of good enough. I never thought about it like that. She was a Slytherin, and I was a stupid teenage boy caught up in . . ." he shrugged. "Being a Gryffindor," he said. "And what I thought that represented. I honestly never considered dating her."

Logan hissed at him. "Clearly you didn't have such a big problem with her that you were unwilling to have sex with her."

"We shared a common room," he said, rushing on when gave a humorless laugh. "And she's beautiful. She always was. Of course I wanted her. And I liked her, for that matter. Maybe even loved her. I've certainly never gotten over her."

"That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard in my life," Logan said. "You don't love one girl and shag another."

James sighed. "You do if you're an idiot." He shook his head. "I'm not trying to say she should forgive and forget all that. I'm not stupid enough to think she'll want any sort of a relationship with me." He looked at her, pleading. "But I don't think it's fair for my worth as a father to be judged on my actions as a seventeen-year-old student. I can admit I was worthless then." He lifted both hands, palms up. "All I'm asking for is a chance to prove to you I'm not now."

"Look," she said, feeling bad for him for the first time. This really would be a lot simpler if she could just tell him he wasn't her father. "Harry's willing to give you a shot. Why don't you just-"

"I'm grateful for that," he said immediately. "And I love spending time with him and getting to know him, but that doesn't mean you matter any less. I have two children. I want to be a father to them both."

She closed her eyes. Why couldn't he have been a complete deadbeat? There was no good way to handle this. If she said no, he would be hurt. If she said yes, he would believe they had a relationship they didn't have.

"I'll think about it," she said, feeling even worse when he seemed delighted with the answer. Maybe Voldemort would come back and kill her before she had to deal with Harry's father again. She sighed. A girl could only hope.


	26. Question

_Two months later_

Lily sat in quarters, grading papers with Rake. Well, she graded the papers; Rake mostly rubbed his head against her foot. She wanted to get the students back their most recent essays before the Easter holiday.

It was crazy to think time had gone so fast. Harry seemed to really be enjoying his time with James. And she had to admit that James had turned out to be a better father than she ever would have expected.

He came and stayed in Hogsmeade every weekend. He attended all of Logan and Harry's quidditch matches. And he went out of his way to try to learn about their interests.

The part that was killing her was Logan. He'd been trying so hard to win her over. She hadn't said she wanted a relationship with him, but she seemed to have decided to be neutral, at least.

Which made it worse, in some ways, because James only tried harder. Harry had recently told Lily that James had been picking his brain about ballet. Muggle hobbies were not up James' alley in the first place, but the ballet was the last place she would expect to find him.

Then again, if he knew his daughter loved it, he might make an exception. The problem, of course, was that she wasn't his daughter, so all his effort was really wasted.

Lily sighed, reaching down to scratch behind Rake's ear. She was torn between hoping Logan would decide to like him, giving James at least some validation for all his trouble, and hoping she continue to keep him at arm's length. Lily was absolutely terrified that if Logan let James in, he would eventually find out he wasn't her father. And if Logan had really trusted him, she would be crushed when he lost interest.

Well, Lily thought, no one could control all the variables in the world. She would just have to let things fall out as they may and hope for the best.

She looked up at a knock on the door.

"Yes?" she called out. People didn't usually come knocking on her door this late on a Wednesday evening.

James opened the door. "Do you mind if I come in?" he asked.

The honest answer was yes. She hadn't been prepared for him. At least she knew to expect him at the school on weekends and full moons, but this was a Wednesday.

"No," she said, pleased at how calm her voice sounded. "Of course not. Make yourself at home."

He strode in confidently. "Thanks," he said glancing around for a place to sit.

Lily stood up and walked over to the small kitchen table, offering him a chair. "Do you want some tea?" she asked.

"Um, sure," he responded, taking a seat. "How, uh, how are classes going?" he asked.

She glanced over at him. He didn't usually come here, and they didn't spend a lot of time making small talk. It was one of the only things that made the whole situation bearable. He mostly asked permission to do things with the kids and then left. She wondered what he was hoping to do this time.

"Fine," she said. "I'm just trying to finish up some grading before the holiday."

He nodded as she brought him over a tray with cups, tea, sugar, and milk. She placed it in the center of the table and watched as he picked up a mug and poured her a cup before dealing with his own.

"Right," he said. "I don't want to keep you too long, but I did want to ask you something."

She immediately regretted offering him tea. She knew it was polite, but if this was going to be a quick conversation, there was no reason to have extended it unnecessarily by adding tea. When she was around him too long, she started thinking about how long it had been since she'd had sex. And then she started remembering what it was like with him . . . and really the whole thing didn't bear thinking about. She just needed him to leave as quickly as possible.

"Oh," she said. "What was it you wanted to do?"

He messed up his hair. "Well," he began, "I wanted to – and to start with, you can feel free to say no, I'm not really expecting anything else (though I'd obviously like it if you said yes), but my point is there's no pressure."

"James," she said. "Why don't you just ask me whatever it was you wanted to ask."

He nodded. "Right," he said. "Yeah. Well, it's not really me so much as Marlene."

"Marlene," she repeated in an empty voice.

"And Sirius," he hurried on. "They're married now. I don't know if you know that, but they've been married several years. Have two daughters," he waved his hands around a bit frantically. "And are, you know, very happy together."

"I'm sure that's lovely for them," Lily replied, baffled. "But I'm not quite sure what it has to do with me."

"Umm . . . Well, Marlene – and Sirius, and Cor and Dara (well, not so much Dara, since she can't talk – though I'm sure she'd love it too) –"

"James, just ask the question," she said, frustrated.

"They want me to invite you over for Easter. You, and Harry, and Logan," he clarified.

Lily blinked at him. "You want me to have Easter with Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black?"

"Well," he said, "it's entirely up to you. We could all go, or I could just take the kids, or – and I realize this is the likeliest option – I could just go by myself." He shrugged. "But they really want to meet Harry and Logan, so I promised I would ask."

"Black's already met them," she said, grasping.

He nodded quickly. "I know, but that was before he knew they were mine, you know? And Mar hasn't met them. Plus she wants to see you, because I've talked a lot about . . . " he trailed off.

"Talked a lot about what, James?" she asked.

"You," he replied sheepishly.

"You talked about me? To Marlene?" she clarified.

"Well," he shoved a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I mean, she asked what happened with her and me, and that sort of led to a whole explanation of," he gestured helplessly, "what happened, and so, yeah . . . I guess I've talked about you."

"Right," she said. It was all she could come up with. She wasn't sure how she felt about him chatting to his ex-girlfriend about her. She could stop herself wondering what he had said.

"So . . . um . . . there's no need to decide right away," he said. "It's not until Sunday, so, you can just owl me by Saturday?" he made it sound like a question.

"Ok," she agreed. "I'll talk to the kids and see how they feel about it." She paused. "Unless you've already –"

He shook his head rapidly. "No. I wanted to make sure you didn't feel like any of you had to go. It's completely up to you," he said.

"Well, thank you for that, James. It was very considerate of you," she said.

"Uhh . . . yeah, no problem," he nodded, starting to rise. "Thanks for the tea, yeah? And hearing me out."

"Of course," she responded, walking him to the door. She was unreasonably pleased she had made it through the entire exchange without slapping him or dragging him to the floor. Now she was left with a decision about how to proceed on his actual request.

* * *

_So, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed lately. I'm glad it sounds like people are starting to like Logan. She's actually pretty key to the story, and I wasn't sure how she would work out as an original character. _

_Mmbug, I'm sorry to say I don't know anything about settings on . I've only had an account for a month or so. From e-mail alerts, I get the impression people can add me as an author so they get alerts when I add any new chapters, or I think you can add the story. I really have no idea how that works, though, as I haven't read any fanfics since I got an account. And obviously I didn't do alerts before I had one. _

_Anyway, to answer your question about the speed with which I post, I've usually written several chapters ahead of what my last post was. I like to let them set for a while, so I can edit them and hopefully not post stuff full of typos. I'm sure there are still loads, but hopefully not so many as to be totally distracting. _

_It's also possible that sometimes I wait for a review or two, to make sure people are taking things the way I want them too. I like to know if there's anything I need to clarify or tweak._

_In other words, the faster and more people review, the faster I'm likely to update. :-)  
_

_-Naj  
_


	27. Perfect Distraction

Logan could not believe it. Somehow they were all trooping into Sirius Black's house in London, as though they were just one big happy family. Potter was a strange combination of ecstatic and terrified. Harry seemed . . . well, like Harry. He liked his father, and he had liked Black when he substituted, so he was looking at the whole situation in a positive light. And their mum was trying to put on a good face, but mostly just seemed resigned to her fate.

Logan couldn't understand why she or her mum needed to be here. If Harry wanted to spend Easter with his dad, he was welcome to. She just didn't see why anyone else needed to be involved. But she had given in to Harry's request to be nice – or at least not mean – and that had somehow led to her spending time with James Potter as well, and so neither Harry nor Lily thought it would be kind of her to decline an invitation Harry accepted.

So here they were, standing on the Black's doorstep. Logan glanced over at her mum. She looked calm, but she had to be uncomfortable, given that Black's wife was the same woman she'd walked in on Potter shagging.

The door opened in on a dark-haired woman with an infant in her arms and a three-year-old clinging to her legs.

"Hi!" she said, smiling cheerfully. "Come in, come in."

Potter leaned down to kiss the baby on the cheek. He gave the woman the same treatment and then lifted the child into his arms, greeting her as well.

"I'm Marlene," the woman said, shaking both Harry and Logan's hands. She smiled at their mum. "It's nice to see you again, Lily. Thank you for coming."

Logan thought her mum was much prettier than this woman, and had no idea what would possess any man to choose her over Lily. She was alright looking, if you liked brunettes. It didn't occur to Logan that she herself was a brunette.

Their mum nodded. "It was nice of you to invite us all."

Logan didn't think it had been, but she knew this wasn't the time or place to split hairs. She glanced around the place. It was warm and bright, seeming suited to the three she'd seen so far. She had already met Black, of course.

"If you all want to take a seat in the living room, I'll bring out some tea," their hostess offered.

They nodded and began walking over.

"Uncle James," the child in Potter's arms called. "We're going to get a dog. Did you know?"

"Sirius mentioned something about that. What kind of dog do you want?" he asked, picking a seat and settling the girl in his lap.

"Ummm . . ." she cocked her head, thinking it over. "A girl dog," she decided.

He laughed. "That wasn't exactly what I meant, but it's a good start. Harry and Logan have a dog," he added, gesturing to them, "but it's a boy dog."

She turned to face them. "What's his name?"

"Rake," Harry answered cheerfully.

The little girl laughed. "That name is silly," she declared. "Isn't that name silly Uncle James."

Potter shrugged. "It's definitely unusual. Why don't you ask them why they chose it?" he suggested, smiling at Marlene as she returned with a tray.

"Sirius should be back in a few moments. He just had to run out for a minute," she said, handing around the tea.

Logan thought she didn't particularly care that he was gone and wouldn't particularly care when he returned. His daughter was bordering on adorable, though.

"Why did you name him Rake?" she asked.

Lily smiled at her, leaning closer. "It's actually short for something else," she whispered.

Logan smiled. Her mum had never been able to resist little kids. They brought out the mother in her every time.

The little girl's eyes widened. "What?" she whispered back.

"Rakehell," Lily responded in an equally secretive tone.

"Oh," the girl nodded seriously. "What does that mean?" she asked in hushed tones.

"Well," Lily considered. "It's what you might call a very poorly behaved man."

The little girl nodded again. "Is the dog very bad?" she asked, clearly pleased with the idea.

Lily laughed again. "No, not these days. But when he was a puppy, their grandfather," she nodded at Harry and Logan, "said we might as well call him Rakehell, because he was always running from woman to woman, trying to get as much attention as possible."

Marlene laughed just as the door opened to admit her husband. "I used to know someone like that," she said, smiling.

"Happy Easter everyone," Black said loudly, nodding at the group. Logan didn't miss the little glare he sent in her mum's direction.

Logan glared back at him. Someone had to do it.

"Just spoke to Remus. He should be here soon," he said, to the general acceptance of everyone in the room.

"And then we can eat!" announced the girl.

"Cordelia Black," Marlene said, "you are an absolute bottomless pit. You just begged two full pieces of toast off me not twenty minutes ago."

Lily laughed. "These two were the same," she said. "It took me ages to convince Logan to use a fork. She thought it just wasted time."

Logan smiled cheekily at her. "I still think so," she said. "Unless something needs cut or you're dealing with soup, utensils just add unnecessary steps."

"Lo was expelled from charm school at the age of three," Harry joked.

"Oh," Logan returned in a sugary voice, "darling, are you still bitter you weren't accepted? It was nothing personal. Only they require a certain level of hygiene you've never been able to manage." She paused. "Even with frequent unexpected dips in the river."

Harry laughed and Lily smiled. No one else in the room seemed to know how to react.

Harry shook his head. "I don't miss that at all," he said. "I haven't gotten up before eight since I've been at Hogwarts. And I actually get to sleep in on the weekends."

Logan rolled her eyes. "You have to be the worst farmboy I've ever seen."

"Yeah," he responded in a droll voice, "Eric made it pretty clear it wasn't a good career path for me."

Logan grinned at him. "Really?" she said. "He always claimed I would make a lovely horse trainer." She sighed. "I miss Eric."

Harry nodded his agreement.

"We'll be able to see him soon enough," Lily said.

Potter tried to look casual. "Who's Eric?" he asked. Logan saw both Sirius and Marlene's attention sharpen.

"He worked on the farm," Lily said.

Logan glared at her. "Please. That makes him sound like an employee, when he was practically family. I don't remember a time when he wasn't around."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, "I always figured Grandpa Jack thought of him as a sort of son."

Lily laughed. "Not so much in the beginning. He was hired just after Jack took us in. He thought Eric was dumb as a post, but that you had to expect it from boys his age."

"Who was Jack?" Marlene asked.

"Hmm . . . ?" Lily looked over. "Oh, well, after my dad died, I needed somewhere to go, where I wouldn't have to be away from home all the time working." She shrugged. "A friend suggested Jack, because he needed a housekeeper, and wouldn't mind taking in a family."

"You were a housekeeper?" James said in a blank voice.

Lily nodded, apparently unconscious of his reaction. "Oh, yes. It was fairly basic. Just cleaning and cooking." She grinned at Harry. "Slightly different hours of course, since it was a farm, but nothing too onerous. And Jack turned out to be quite lovely. He was great with the kids. Taught them both to ride and swim and rope cattle," she gave them both a look. "Not that there weren't some downsides."

Logan grinned. "Try to ride a bull one time and she never forgets," she said.

James was still staring at them. "Lily, I could of . . . I mean, I have money." He shrugged awkwardly. "Even if you didn't want anything to do with me, I could have supported you."

Lily blinked at him. Clearly she hadn't seen the direction his brain was taking. "James, I –" she started, but Sirius cut her off.

"Come now, James, that would have required telling you about the children, and we all know Evans doesn't have the basic decency to do _that_," he said.

The room went very quiet. Logan and Harry were both glaring at Black now. Lily looked taken aback, but not angry.

James scowled at his friend. "Sirius," he said in a low voice. "You are not helping."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but Marlene hushed him.

"We need to look in on the food," she said, smiling apologetically. "Sirius." She made it clear that his presence in the kitchen was not optional.

James sighed. "I'm sorry about that," he said. "Maybe this was too soon. Sirius was . . . well, he was pretty angry when he found out."

Logan snorted. "Right," she said, "you're the asshole that-"

"Logan," Lily snapped, and Logan closed her mouth.

Harry glanced between them. "The asshole that what?" he asked.

Lily glanced significantly at the little girl in James' lap. "Mind your language please," she said in a tone that brooked no argument.

"Sorry," he said. "Only, I just don't understand what I'm missing. That's not a normal Logan my-mum-doesn't-like-him-so-I-don't-like-him-either response."

James closed his eyes, looking unbearably weary. "Logan doesn't think very much of me because she knows I didn't treat your mother well in school," he said in a quiet voice.

Harry looked at him. "What does that mean 'didn't treat her well'?" he asked.

"I think this isn't exactly the place to discuss it," Lily broke in. "Let's just try to have a nice Easter."

That probably wouldn't have been the end of it, but Professor Lupin chose that moment to arrive and became the perfect distraction.


	28. Altogether

James could not believe how hideously bad this was going. He knew he shouldn't have given in to Marlene's request.

After the complete disaster of tea, they had moved on to dinner. They were all sitting around the table uncomfortably trying to make small talk without any reference to the earlier gaffs. Marlene and Sirius didn't even know about the rest of the conversation that went on in the living room. And Remus didn't know about any of it.

Remus, clearly baffled by the whole situation, was valiantly trying to carry the conversation. "Don't know how we managed to get through all seven years without any of us getting expelled," he said. "McGonagall still tells me she never saw four such poorly behaved boys in her life."

Harry glanced around the table. "Four?" he asked.

Remus nodded, suddenly looking regretful. "Well, we were friends with Pettigrew in school."

"Peter Pettigrew?" Logan spoke up. James couldn't sort out the expression on her face.

"Why, do you know him?" Sirius asked in a harsh voice. He scowled at Lily. "I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he was the sort of company you kept."

There was a bang and Sirius flew back into the wall behind his chair. James looked over to see Logan rising from her seat with a furious expression on her face. Lily caught her arm and pulled her toward the front door.

Harry started to rise but his mother motioned him back into his seat. He turned around to glare at Sirius, offering no assistance at all and no sign of concern for his well being.

James went over to help Marlene with Sirius.

"This would go a lot easier, mate," he said, "if you would stop deliberately insulting the mother of my children."

Sirius glared at him. "What? It's a valid question. Her kid knows Pettigrew's name and Evans was in Slytherin. Maybe they were on the same side."

"Don't be ridiculous, Sirius," Marlene responded before James had a chance to. "Lily Evans was muggleborn. The last people she'd want to associate with are Death Eaters."

"How'd the girl know his name then?" Sirius asked defensively.

"Her name is Logan, Sirius. And she could have known about it at number of ways. She's a bloody Ravenclaw and smarter than the rest of the school combined. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out she knew the name of every Death Eater ever caught or even suspected."

Remus, who had come over to see what was taking them all so long, nodded. "It's true, Sirius. She has a better grasp of most magic than your average full blown wizard. Even Dumbledore is impressed."

Sirius stood up, dusting himself off. James glanced at the table to see Harry deliberately ignoring them, and the two other children watching them with wide eyes. Marlene went over to comfort them.

"I'm just saying that suspicion is warranted," Sirius added defensively.

"And I'm saying if you keep this up my daughter won't be the only one blasting you into walls," James responded.

Sirius glared at him and dropped back into his seat.

James and Remus both followed suit, with somewhat more dignity.

* * *

Lily pulled her daughter outside.

"Good," Logan said. "We're leaving. I'm glad to hear we've finally decided on a sensible plan of action."

Lily stroked her hair. "Baby, I'm sorry," she said. "I know it's hard not to lose your temper with them, especially in these circumstances."

"I'm not going back in there, Mum," her daughter declared, tears shining in her eyes. "They were _friends_ with him. Friends with . . ." she took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep control of herself. "And then they dare to act like you had _anything_ to do with him! You saved me. What would they have done, handed me to him on a silver platter?"

Lily pulled her into a hug. "I know it's hard, honey, but Dumbledore is confident they're all on the right side."

"Wasn't he equally confident that Pettigrew was, before the truth came out?"she asked quietly. "Wasn't it through the Order that he found them in the first place?"

Lily closed her eyes. "Yes, and I'm not suggesting we tell anyone about you or Harry. I'm only saying we can't go through life assuming that everyone who is duped by an evil person is equally bad."

"No," Logan shook her head. "I'm judging them on their own merits," she said softly. "I just don't think they have any."

Lily sighed. "I might have agreed with you when they were in school, but now anyone can see that Remus has become a good teacher, and James has become a good man, and Sirius is clearly a good father."

Logan glared at her.

"I know you don't want to go back in, baby. But if we leave, we'll have to explain why it was such a big thing to say." She wiped away some of her daughter's tears. "I'm willing to trust them far enough to try for civility," she said. "But not so far that I'd trust them with your lives."

Logan took a deep breath. "Fine," she said, scrubbing at her eyes. "But I'm done being nice."

Lily gave her a look.

"Ugh," her daughter made an eminently frustrated noise. "Your rules about niceness are ridiculous. You know that, right? No other kids have to try to find good things to say about people they hate."

"Well," Lily said, casting a quick spell to remove all evidence of Logan's crying. "Then I guess their mothers will always have to worry about whether or not their children will turn out to be decent people." She tucked Logan's hair behind her ears. "I, on the other hand, sleep like a baby, secure in the knowledge that my children will both become lovely adults."

Logan looked at her sideways. "You sleep horribly, because you're always so terrified we'll be attacked by a dark wizard."

"Well," Lily responded, opening the door to go back inside, "that's a different matter altogether."

* * *

James was relieved when they came back inside. He watched them take their seats, and return to eating. Well, Lily returned to eating. Logan mostly moved food around on her plate while holding a whispered conversation with Harry, who no longer appeared to have any interest in the rest of the people at the table.

When Lily tried to start up some empty small talk, Sirius just had to open his mouth again.

"She's really not even going to apologize?" he said.

Lily opened her mouth, but Logan spoke first.

"No," she said.

"No?" Sirius repeated. "We invite you into our home to share a holiday meal with us, and your way of showing your gratitude is to slam me into a wall. Would you like to tell me _why_ you aren't apologizing?"

Logan looked him straight in the eyes. "Because I think you are a horrible human being with absolutely no redeeming qualities, and the only reason I haven't spit in your face is that my mother would be upset with me if I did," she said without blinking. Then she tossed a sideways glance at her mother, who had closed her eyes. "But your house is lovely," she added.

James saw Harry snort into his pumpkin juice.

Sirius turned to Lily. "You aren't going to say anything?" he asked in a scathing voice.

"Sirius," James cut in, but Lily raised a hand.

"You asked her a question," she said. "I don't think it's fair for me to be angry with her for giving you an honest answer." She glanced at Logan. "Even if it wasn't the best display of manners."

Logan shrugged unapologetically. "He just called my mother a Death Eater, and –from what I can gather – treated her like dirt in school. He doesn't deserve to be treated with manners."

"Right," Lily sighed. "Perhaps it is best if we leave," she said, rising. "Thank you for your hospitality, Marlene."

Marlene nodded uncomfortably. James couldn't tell if she was embarrassed by Sirius' behavior or angry at Lily and the kids for treating her husband the way they had. He, personally, was angry with Sirius for treating Lily and the kids the way _he_ had.

"It was nice meeting you, Cordelia," Lily smiled at the little girl, who had been watching the whole night's progression with wide eyes. "Adara," she gave the baby a little wave, which was promptly returned. "I'll see you at school, Remus." Then she nodded to James and Sirius and stepped toward the door. "Harry. Logan."

Both children rose immediately and turned to leave without another word. Then they caught the look on their mother's face and swung back around.

"Bye," they chorused, and then quickly followed their mother out the door.


	29. Not

"Lily," James knocked on her door that evening. "Can I come in?"

She opened the door, standing in such a way as to block his entrance into the room. He didn't think that was a good sign.

"Listen," he said, panicking even more than he expected. "I know things didn't go well tonight. And I'm so, so sorry for the way Sirius behaved. Peter's a sore spot with all of us and . . ." he spread his hands. "There's really no excuse. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry."

"I'm not going to stop letting you see the children, James," she said.

"No, I mean, that wasn't why I came here." He stopped, backtracking. "That is, of course I want to make sure I can keep seeing them, but that wasn't why I came to apologize."

"Ok," she said. "Apology accepted." She turned to close the door, but he stopped her.

"Wait. Umm . . . are you ok?" he asked quickly.

She turned around, eyebrows raised.

"It's just, Logan got really upset about Sirius' comment. And – aside from the mass amount of damage I'm sure it did to whatever progress I've managed to make with her – I'm worried that maybe it hit a nerve, you know?" he said, thinking he probably should have stopped when she accepted his apology. "I mean, because you're a muggleborn, and Peter was a Death Eater. And," he had to catch his breath. "I just," he shrugged, "wanted to make sure you were ok."

She sighed, stepping back. "Why don't you come in?" she said.

He let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Thanks."

"Listen, James," she took a deep breath. "About Logan. You have to understand that she's protective of me because she's, grateful, I guess."

James knew he looked confused. "I guess that's probably normal. You know, for children to be thankful when they have a good mum."

Lily shook her head. "I wish it was that simple. Logan is my daughter in every way that counts, and I think she knows there's no need for gratitude, but it's hard to change the way someone thinks and feels just by saying it isn't necessary."

"I don't understand," he said.

"I know," Lily sighed. "I should have been honest with you from the beginning but I . . ." she trailed off. "We've always treated Logan and Harry like they were twins, because it's what everyone assumes. I didn't want to confuse it all that by telling you the truth. And I guess I thought if she wasn't amenable to having a relationship with you, you'd just let it go. I didn't realize how hard you'd try."

James stared at her. "I don't get it."

"Logan isn't my biological daughter." She paused. "Or yours," she added apologetically. "Jack, the man who took us in, did so because he needed a witch to look after his granddaughter. He knew she had magic, and that he couldn't hire just any nanny. So," she shrugged. "Harry and I went to live with them."

James blinked. He tried to form words, but he couldn't seem to manage it.

"I always treated them the same, and everyone around us just assumed they were both mine. It seemed . . . simpler, I guess, when I enrolled them in school to list them both as mine. And from there . . ." she trailed off.

"She's not mine," James said finally.

"No," Lily said quietly. "Which is, in large part, why she hasn't had a very big interest in getting to know you. Harry knows you're his father, so he wanted to give you a chance. Logan knows you have nothing to do with her, so she didn't see the point."

"Right," James said.

"I'm sorry, James," Lily added softly. "I know you must think I'm a terrible person. First, for not telling you about Harry. And then for letting you believe Logan was your daughter." She lifted her hands, palms facing up. "I hope you can understand that I just . . ." she shrugged, "wasn't expecting this to come up at all. I didn't think you'd ever be a part of our lives."

"That's not really a comfort, Lily," he responded in a quiet voice.

"I know, but it's all I have," she said.

He just looked at her. "Ok," he said. "I'll just . . ." he gestured toward the door. At her nod, he turned to go.

"Goodbye, James," she said, and he thought she sounded sad.

"Bye, Lily."

And with that, he walked out the door.


	30. Still

_A week later_

Harry sat in the Great Hall, finishing up his breakfast. He hadn't talked to his father since Easter. He wasn't sure he wanted to. Harry had always believed you could tell a lot about a person by who their friends were. And he had not been impressed by his father's best friend.

Harry glanced over at the Weasley twins, who had a signup sheet out and were currently asking for volunteers to be testers for skiving snackbox items.

Then again, he thought, maybe you couldn't tell very much from a person's choice of friends.

"So," Fred announced loudly, turning back from persuading a first year to add her name to the list. "Do you think if Logan wins tonight she'll be in a good enough mood to let me take her out?"

Harry thought about it. "No," he said.

Fred's face fell. "What's the deal with her?"

"She's stuck up," George responded. "We sorted that out within the first week."

Harry glared at him. "Shut it," he said, but he only got a cheeky grin in return.

"Nah," Fred responded. "Anyone who can make shoes that can spring fifty feet in the air, grow spikes to climb mountains, play music, and dance a jig has to be a decent bird. And she always looks smashing."

George rolled his eyes. "And she hexes you when you ask her out," he said.

Fred nodded cheerfully. "She's feisty."

Harry snorted. He didn't think Fred's chances would get any better by him saying things like that.

"You lot ready to head down?" Lee asked, coming over to join them. He grabbed a piece of toast, smeared a bit of jam on it, and motioned toward the door. Harry, Fred, and George all rose to join him.

When they got down to the pitch, Harry was surprised to see his father sitting with Professor Lupin. His mom had said she told him about Logan – or at least that Logan wasn't his – so none of them had expected him to show today.

Harry figured it was a solid point in the good column. Having bad friends was definitely a negative mark, but keeping his word was a promising trait. He wondered how Logan would react.

* * *

Logan stood in the changing rooms after the game. She had caught the snitch, of course. The only person she could see really giving her trouble was Harry, and Gryffindor and Ravenclaw wouldn't meet until the last match of the year.

She pulled off her robes and changed into some muggle clothes, thinking how much she missed home. She missed playing soccer with a team of people she was actually friends with. The rest of the quidditch team appreciated her because she always managed to catch the snitch, but she wouldn't say they particularly liked her. Or she them, for that matter.

She missed dancing. It didn't matter if it was her ballet lessons or going out with friends. There was no substitute for it here at all. Not even a bad one.

She missed the farm, and her horses, and her friends, and Eric. She missed her life.

She wished her mum hadn't told stupid Potter the truth. Or that she'd told him it from the start. Now it was this _thing_ – this division – between her and Harry. Instead of doing things together as a family, he would run off and be with his dad. And if Lily got together with him, which was not unlikely, given the scene Logan had walked in on right after Christmas, it would be even worse. Logan would be like a fourth wheel. Which was a stupid analogy, because four wheels were optimal unless you were a wheelbarrow. So she would be like fourth wheel on a wheelbarrow. Completely superfluous.

She sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair looked like a bloody rats nest. She sighed, pulling it up into a messy bun. She decided she was done thinking about this. She would go up to the library and work on advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts. Maybe if she got good enough her mum would let her go back to Washington. Lily and Harry could stay here with Potter, and she could talk Eric into taking her on as a hand.

She opened the door, putting the whole topic firmly out of her head. And ran smack into Potter, who was waiting just outside.

"Hey," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders and steadying her. "You alright?"

"Fine," she snapped. She started to walk away. "I have homework to do," she said.

"Right," he responded, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well, I'll just walk with you, if that's alright."

She sent him a glare that any sane person would take for a no, but he chose to ignore it. Naturally.

"Umm . . ." he began. "So, I wanted to talk to you."

She snorted derisively. Like she wouldn't have been able to figure that out from his presence. "You don't need to say anything about it. My mum told me she explained it all to you. You don't have any further obligation."

He nodded. "I know. But, the thing is, I've been thinking of you as my daughter for several months now. And, even if that weren't the case, you're still Harry's sister, and Lily's daughter." He shrugged. "It seems like a package deal, don't you think?"

She looked away from him. "I'm sure Harry will still want a relationship with you, regardless of me. And," she shrugged, "I don't know that you have a chance with my mum, but I don't think I'd have anything to do with it one way or another."

He didn't speak for a while. "I think you're wrong about that, if you don't mind me saying. From what I've seen, it's just a basic fact. You're Harry's sister and Lily's daughter. And that matters more than anything else in the world to them. I don't think it makes sense for me to try to be Harry's dad, but not yours. I don't think either of them would accept that. And, honestly, I'd be disappointed in them if they did."

"Listen," Logan said, focusing her eyes on a tree two feet to the right of his shoulder. "This really isn't necessary."

He lifted his hand and turned her chin so she was facing him. "I think it is. See, I've spent the last few months being proud that you're mine, you know? Like when you showed you could do the patronus already. Or whenever one of the teachers mentioned how smart you were. Or whenever I get to watch you play seeker." He smiled.

"So now it turns out you aren't mine," he went on, "and I don't like it at all." He shook his head. "But, the way I figure it, Harry really isn't either. I don't think being a father is about sharing the same blood as another person, or getting a girl pregnant in school. I think it's about actually _being_ a father." He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "And the way I see it, I'd like to be yours as much as Harry's. If you'll have me anyway," he said, looking awkward for the first time, and turning back toward the school.

Logan walked with him, not sure how to respond.

"I know this doesn't change anything," he said. "In terms of your opinion of me. Still, I just wanted you to know where I stand, and that I'm going to keep trying to bring you around." He glanced over at her, smiling. "Even if it takes me ages to manage it."

Logan watched her feet for a while. "You're doing better than you might expect," she said finally.

She saw him smiling brilliantly out of the corner of her eye, and felt her lips turn up a bit to match.


	31. Possible

Lily looked up at the sound of knocking on her door. She glanced over at Rake, who was fast asleep. Some guard dog he made, she thought.

"Come in," she called, thinking she should not be letting her guard down so much at the school. She watched James open the door and step into the room.

"Hey," he said.

"Hello, James," she responded, wondering what he had come here to tell her. She'd seen him at the match, but wasn't sure how to take it.

"Well," he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I just, uh, just wanted to come here and let you know what I've decided to do."

She let out a breath. "You can't possibly," she said, rising and striding over to him, "actually have come here to tell me you're done with him." She said, ignoring him when he opened his mouth. "It's one thing to take that stance with Logan – no one expected anything less – but Harry actually is your son, and he'll be devastated if –" he cut her off.

"I'm not here to say that at all," he said. "I know I probably didn't give you any more reason to trust me by leaving the way I did, but you have to understand I needed time to process what you had told me."

"Oh," she said, taking a step back. "I see. In that case I apologize for my outburst."

He smiled. "It's fine. I like knowing how protective you are of them."

"Him, don't you mean?" she said, looking up at him.

He shook his head. "No, I mean them. I thought about it and decided it didn't matter."

"What didn't matter?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Whether or not Logan is mine, you know, in terms of blood," he said. "I don't think it matters."

Lily stared at him. "If it doesn't matter whose blood they have, why were you doing this in the first place?"

He considered it. "I don't know, exactly. I mean, I guess it did in the beginning, but like I told Logan," he shrugged, "I figure it's a package deal. If I'm going to look at Harry as my son, I'm going to look at Logan as my daughter. There's no reason she should matter any less just because she's not technically mine."

She just looked at him. "How did Logan take the news?" she asked, after a long pause.

He smiled. She hadn't seen him smile like that in . . . well ever. "Pretty well, I think," he said. He bounced on his toes a bit. "I think we had what you might call a breakthrough." His excitement was palpable.

"James," she said.

"Yeah?" he was still grinning at her.

"I'm just gonna," she rose up on her toes and pulled his mouth down to hers.

God, she had missed kissing him. She ran her hands down his chest and felt his tangle in her hair. And then he pulled back.

"I'm not sure we should," he said, leaning his forehead against hers. "It's probably not a good idea."

She nodded. "It's really a terrible idea," she agreed, kissing him again and pulling him toward her bedroom.

He didn't object this time.

Lily barely waited for him to get through the door before she started dragging off his clothes. She could feel the stubble on his cheeks scraping against her, and somehow the idea of being with him now, when he was a grown man, made her absolutely frantic.

He caught her hands, slowing her down. He peeled off her shirt, running his mouth down her body as he laid her back on the bed. When she would have rushed, he closed his fingers around her wrists, lifting them above her head.

He moved his mouth down to her ear.

"If this is as bad an idea as we both think it is, I want to make sure we do it right at least," he whispered, kissing his way down her neck when he finished speaking.

He drove her absolutely mad with fingers, lips, tongue, and teeth. By the time he seemed to decide he was ready for more, she was breathless and begging.

He brought his mouth back up to meet hers. He pulled back, just far enough to be able to talk, but not so far that she couldn't move forward – just an inch – and be able to kiss him again. Which she did.

He smiled against her mouth. Pulling back a bit further, he looked down at her. "Are you sure about this?"

She nodded. She was fairly sure she would have said something different if her brain had been fully able to function. But at this point, all she could think about was having him inside her again.

He didn't have to ask twice.

* * *

She lay curled up with him. One of his hands was stroking up and down her side. Occasionally it would pause to play with her fingers.

This had always been the worst part. It always ended up feeling like more than just sex, even though she knew that was all it was for him. She sighed. She would have to keep him out of her rooms from now on. This was much too dangerous.

"Lily," he whispered in her ear. She closed her eyes, just feeling his lips brush against her skin.

"Yeah," she said, expecting the worst.

He dropped a kiss just below her ear. "I know it's probably a bad idea to say this, but," he said, kissing her neck again, "I don't want to spend the next seventeen years wishing I had."

She didn't know what to say, so she just waited for him to go on. She felt him brush his nose along her neck.

"I love you," he whispered.

She wasn't sure she had heard him right. She lay there, blinking at the wall, thinking her ears had betrayed her.

"I know you don't," he said, sounding heartrendingly sad. "I know you couldn't, after how I treated you before," he continued. "But I just needed you to know."

She rolled over, propping herself up on an elbow so she could look at him. "I'm sorry," she said finally. "I don't think I heard you right."

He lifted a hand to brush her hair back out of her face. "I said I love you," he said.

She closed her eyes, leaning down to kiss him. "Ok," she said finally.

"Ok?" he repeated.

She sighed, laying her head on his chest. "It's the best I can manage at the moment," she said.

He stroked a hand down her back. "Ok" he said.

She smiled, twining her fingers with his.

"My mum's dead," he commented, without any prelude.

She propped herself up to stare at him. "I'm sorry?" she offered in a baffled voice.

He smiled slightly. "It was a more than ten years ago," he explained. "I just wanted you to know that if she were still alive, you're definitely the sort of girl I'd bring home to meet her."

She smiled, leaning down to kiss him. "It's possible I love you too," she said.

"Possible?" he repeated.

"Mmmmhhmm . . ." she nodded, laying back down.

"Ok," he said. "I like possible."


	32. Morning

Harry stumbled down to breakfast, flopping into a seat next to Fred. He and Logan had been up a good portion of the night, trying to sort out the situation with James. They had decided to mutually give him a shot. They had also made a firm decision to call him James. It wasn't as distant as Potter, but wasn't rife with the landmines associated with the word "Dad."

"Morning," Fred greeted him.

George looked Harry over. "If you're that tired, why are you even up?"

Harry shrugged. He wasn't entirely sure. He guessed he was nervous about talking to his mum. He wanted to tell her about James and Logan's conversation, and see what she thought of the whole thing.

"Just woke up, I guess," he said, slathering some jam on a piece of toast. "Not really very hungry, though," he said. "I might just wander over and say hi to my mum. I haven't seen her in a while."

Fred raised his eyebrows. "You see her in class all the time," he said.

"But that's _never_ enough," George sighed dramatically.

"Woah!" Harry broke in, before George could continue. "That's my mum you're on about there."

George nodded. "I know, mate. She's not the sort a bloke forgets."

Harry scowled at him. "So you know," he said, "I'm seriously thinking about asking Logan for advice on how to permanently turn you into fly," he told him. "So you can just," Harry made a flying motion in the air, "buzz around without me having to listen to anything you say."

"But then you'd miss out on my fantastic sense of humor," George grinned at him.

Harry shrugged. "There'd still be Fred."

"Please," Lee laughed. "He's on about your sister as much as George is about your mum. You can't tell me that's better?"

Harry considered it. "It is actually. Not that I like him moaning on about Lo all the time, but at least it's not as creepy."

"Nothing creepy about it," George commented. "Sex is completely natural."

Harry kicked him under the table. "Talk about sex again when you're thinking of my mum and I'll get Logan to remove your sex drive altogether."

George just shook his head. Fred, on the other hand, furrowed his brow. "That's not actually possible, is it?"

Harry shrugged. "Lo's pretty keen on anatomy and biology and all that stuff. She sorted out how to cast spells that would calm our mum down, alter emotions and stuff. Got in loads of trouble, mind. I'd wager she could work it out, if she really wanted too." He tossed George an evil smile. "Mostly she avoids doing anything that'll make my mum mad, but she might make an exception for you, under these circumstances"

George looked a little frightened. Conversely, Fred sat up straighter, looking immensely cheered. "So," he said, munching on an apple. "That means I have a chance then."

"How do you figure that?" Lee asked.

"Well, I've still a sex drive, haven't I? So Logan can't mind my interest too much. She's probably just playing hard to get," he decided. "I like a good challenge."

Harry shook his head. This day was not off to a good start. He polished off the last of his toast and climbed out of his seat.

"Right, well, I think I'm going to remove myself from this general," he waved vaguely in the air, "conversation. You lads enjoy the rest of your breakfast."

* * *

He didn't bother to knock before he went into his mum's quarters. She had told them the password, because she didn't figure it was any different from them having the key to their house in Washington.

He opened the door and wandered in, patting Rake when the dog woke up. He was surprised his mum wasn't up yet.

He shrugged, deciding to help himself to a bit of a snack. He still thought it was rubbish that teachers were allowed all the junk food they wanted, but the students had a more limited selection. Luckily, he had an in with a teacher, he smiled to himself.

He grabbed a plate, set it on the table, and silently thought about crepes filled with sugary fruit and cream cheese amazingness. Naturally, it appeared. He dug in, petting Rake with his foot under the table.

Harry looked up in shock when he heard a male voice coming from the bedroom. Before he could bolt, his dad appeared in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.

Harry stared at him.

James stared back with a blank look on his face.

"Right," Harry said, when far too much time had passed. "I should . . . I was just . . . You know, because I like crepes . . . and I didn't think," he closed his mouth, realizing he was talking gibberish. He heard footsteps coming from his mum's bedroom and shot a terrified look at his dad.

Leaving all dignity behind, he made a mad dash for the door. Right when he was about to open it, he heard her voice.

"Harry?" she said.

He stopped and stared firmly at the door, unwilling to turn around and see what she was wearing, or not wearing.

"Yeah?" he said.

He heard her take a deep breath. "Why don't you come over to the table and sit down?" she suggested, in a remarkably calm voice.

"Umm . . ." he told the door, "I think really . . . you know . . . that it's best that I just," he motioned toward the door he was speaking to, "go. Because, see . . . well, I already ate my crepes . . . and that was really why I was here."

"Harry," she said in an amused voice, "honey, you've barely had a bite of them."

Harry didn't move. He didn't feel comfortable leaving when she had asked him to sit down, but he really, really didn't want to turn around.

"Harry, come take a seat please," she said in a firm voice.

He took a deep breath. Keeping his eyes firmly on his shoes, he turned around and walked over to the table. He sat down and stared hard at his plate.

"James," she said, and Harry made the mistake of looking up to see what they were talking about. She was in a robe at least, but he was once again reminded of the advanced state of undress his father was in. "Why don't you go get dressed?"

Harry emphatically nodded his agreement.

"Yeah," James said, making haste for the bedroom.

"Honey," Lily began.

"I don't need to know anything about anything," Harry said immediately.

He felt guilty for cutting her off, so he glanced up at her face. She was smiling at him. She leaned down and kissed him on the check.

"If you prefer. But if you feel like you want to talk about it, even if it's only to say you're uncomfortable with the situation, you know you have the right," she said.

He looked back down at his plate. "I'm not uncomfortable," he told his crepes.

"Of course not," she said in a droll voice. "I can't imagine where I got that idea."

He glanced up at her sheepishly. "It's weird," he said. "You have to admit it's weird. Anyone would be freaked out to find their mum, you know . . ." he trailed off, gesturing to the bath robe.

Lily smiled. "I can see that. Absolutely. And if it came down to it," she added hesitantly, "I'm sure he'd choose a relationship with you over one with me. If that's any part of your concern."

Harry furrowed his brows. "You're saying you don't matter to him?"

Lily shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm saying you matter more, which is how it should be. I'm not someone who thinks you can only love one person. I think there's," she shrugged, holding arms wide, "infinite room for the human heart to expand to fit more people." She smiled at him.

"That said," she continued, brushing his hair back from his forehead, "I also believe firmly that parents have to put their children first."

He thought about it. "Do you think he loves you?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Do you love him?"

She smiled. "I think so."

He raised his eyebrows.

She sighed, nodding. "Yes," she said. "I do."

Harry looked at her for a long moment. "Are you two gonna make out all the time in front of us?" he asked uncomfortably.

Lily laughed. "Definitely not."

"Ok then," Harry shrugged, picking up his fork and returning to his crepes.

When James came back in the room, fully dressed, Harry lifted his fork. He pointed it at James. "If don't treat her well, we're done," he said, without any anger. He was just making the situation clear.

James nodded. "That sounds fair," he said, pulling up a chair. He glanced at Harry's plate. "Where'd you get those?" he asked in a valiant attempt at a casual tone.

Harry considered him for a moment. He nodded over at a cupboard. "You just get a plate down. Set it on the table, think about what you want to eat, and the house elves do the rest."

James smiled widely. "Like at the feasts?" he said in an awed voice.

Harry nodded. "Seems like." He paused, considering. "You don't get to use the special teacher privileges when you substitute for Professor Lupin?" he asked. He glanced over when he saw his mum slip into the bedroom to dress.

James shook his head. "I'm going to kill Remus," he said. "He never mentioned a thing."

Harry smiled at him. "Well, now you know the trick," he said.

James nodded, rising to get a plate for himself and a plate for Lily. When he saw Logan walk in, he grabbed another one.

Harry glanced over. "They're shagging," he said.

Logan stopped in her tracks. She stared between the nonchalant Harry and the blushing James. "And you're ok with it?" she asked.

Harry shrugged uncomfortably. "He says he loves her. And I've made it clear we're done," Harry made a cutting motion, "if he treats her badly."

Logan raised her eyebrows. "Oooakay?" she said, and came over to join them.

When Lily reemerged from the bedroom, she had a plate waiting for her at the table. She leaned down to kiss Logan on the cheek.

"Morning, babygirl," she said.

"Morning, mum," Logan responded. She leaned over to Harry. "This is super weird, right?" she stage whispered.

Harry glanced over. "Oh yeah," he agreed.

James looked incredibly uncomfortable, but Lily, as always, was unruffled.

"I would," she said calmly, "ask you both to give it time. And try to be understanding of the fact that we're people as well as parents."

Logan thought it over. "As long as he's aware that I'm fully capable of shrinking Little James down to the size of pea," she said, shrugging.

Harry and James simultaneously choked on their breakfast. Harry was fairly sure he was the only one laughing though.

"Logan," Lily warned.

"Yes, mum," she grinned cheekily back.

"Eat your breakfast."

All in all, Harry thought it was a much better breakfast than he could have expected to have in the Great Hall, you know, if you made allowances for all the awkwardness.

* * *

_So, I've reached another impasse. I think this works well as an ending with some actual closure, given that the fic focuses almost entirely on interpersonal relationships. If you've read anything else I've written, you might have noticed that I like characters better than plot. The hint is that my stories never actually have plots. _

_ Anyway, I think this works as an ending to the story, but I'm also inclined to agree with Growing Hope's assessment of the situation. The kids aren't likely to accept James completely without a lot of effort and at least a few bumps in the road. Plus, Voldemort is obviously still out there with his many horcruxes._

_ While I'd one hundred percent say that stopping at the end of chapter six would have been the wrong decision, continuing after this chapter presents a whole boatload of issues._

_ For starters, it requires me to take J.'s actual plotlines and change them dramatically. Part of what I like about Lily and James stories is that we don't actually know how Rowling would have got them together. To keep going, I'd have hugely alter books that I love, and I'm not sure you would like it any better than I would. Why mess with perfection, right?_

_ Plus, even if I decided to go on with it, I'm really not sure I could do it at all well. It's rife with difficulties. I mean, obviously the whole Sorcerer's Stone thing never happened, but what about Riddle's Journal? Did Malfoy never put it in Ginny's stuff? Or did someone else take on the basilisk? What about Neville? Did his parents avoid being tortured into insanity when Voldemort fell, or did it just happen two years earlier (thus making Neville not exist)? If they are alive, is his character how he was in the first six books, or has he always been seventh book Neville? _

_ And then there's the questions associated with the later books. Since this is Fred and George's year six, it would be on the same timeline as book four. Clearly I haven't done the whole Goblet of Fire bit, since even if Barty Crouch junior still helped torture someone into insanity and escaped, he wouldn't have set the whole thing up if he had no way of knowing Harry would be at Hogwarts. Book five? If I got rid of Remus as DADA professor, Flitwick could just come back and Lily could take over DADA. And then there wouldn't be any Umbridge. And so on and so on._

_ So, anyway, this massively long author's note is to give you guys an option. I might be willing to try to tackle the whole bit (though I've gone from twelve hour days to fourteen hour days, and would still like to sleep and have some semblance of a life, so I might crap out on it altogether after I get a little ways in), but I don't want to try if the consensus is the books are, you know, too sacred to change that much. _

_ In other words, please review or private message me and let me know your thoughts._

_-Naj  
_


	33. Note

Quick Note:

I've decided to give the sequel a go. I think I've come up with a good way to parse it into more manageable bits and plotlines, so it doesn't feel like quite such a massive commitment.

If you're interested in reading it, it's called "IF" and you can find it on my profile page.

As always, I update more quickly if you review. So if you read it and like it (or for that matter if you read it and don't like it), please take the time to review. I'll be a lot more likely to write and post new chapters if you do.


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